Pink of Perfection

I think a lot about the creative process: how there are sparks of ideas and bursts of activity followed by periods of inaction. That period of inertia is what always drove me mad. What are we doing if not getting better and moving forward? Something important, it turns out. Like a field that’s given up its harvest, we’re lying fallow: rejuvenating, gathering reserves, collecting our energy for the next big burst.

This, I think, is what is so sweet about winter. When the world slows down, as it naturally does this time of year, we can take the time we need to prepare ourselves for our next surge of growth–whatever that may be. And so we stay close to home, write in our journals, practice yoga, linger over our coffee, and take the time we need to reflect. Its not laziness and it’s not inaction; it’s the practice of shoring up, and equipping ourselves with the care, thought, and ideas for whatever comes next.

In Chinese Medicine, winter is associated with the element water. Water is “the stage of energy before structure; it is potential,” writes Lorena Monda. “To access this phase of transformation, we must create space and quiet within us to mindfully look and listen. We direct this deep looking and listening to the world inside and around us. It is here that we begin to know what we want or what is necessary. It is here that we set our intention.” Continue reading “Winter Wellness Guide” »

Photos: 1. Nordic trees linen napkins, 2. cabin in the snow, 3. soup, 4. fireplace in the bedroom, 5. how to do a self-portrait, 6. candles, 7. birch logs, 8. felt coffee cozies, 9. tea

Words have felt like quite a lot of bother lately, but pictures–pictures feel good. I’ve fallen deeply and quietly into the land of Pinterest and Etsy looking for winter images that feel how I want to in the deep of January: calm, cozy, quiet, creative. On the heels of a weekend like this one, where I woke up to a covering of snow on the wet gray streets and begrudgingly pulled myself out of bed and out of the house, it feels good to be quiet. Monday, the snow melted, and I walked in the rain to get the crossword (a new favorite winter-quiet activity!). Things are good, and even, but I want the muffled quiet that comes with more snow. And so, for a change, I’m making collages instead of droning on and on. You know how it is, I know you do.

It is hard to come back after vacation, isn’t it? To see those free, expansive days end is a kind of cruelty. But I came back to our little apartment after a holiday break, happy to be home. Even with the Christmas tree still standing and brittle and our suitcases strewn on the floor in the living room and bedroom, unpacked. Even with no milk or clean towels, it still feels merry kind of merry in here, if in a cluttered, post-holiday kind of way.

I’ve eased into the week trying to hold on to “quiet mind.” It’s a feeling that comes on for me during vacations or on any extended periods away from the computer or even after yoga. I’m able to focus without thoughts darting every which way. I feel relaxed. You know that feeling? Hanging on to it is the catch.

There’s so much wonderful reflecting and goal-setting happening on the internet right now. On the one hand, it’s inspiring to see, and a kick in the pants for those of us who need it. On the other, it can make a lady feel a little inadequate. I didn’t know what I wanted my 2012 to be “about.” I didn’t have a theme or a goal or a resolution or a project. And that feeling of not having something to strive for in the new year turned into a gnawing anxiety. The new year was coming: what was my plan?

Continue reading “Back to Basics” »

Happy Christmas Eve eve, friends! Are you up to your neck in wrapping and bows? Are you buried under sacks of sugar and flour? Well, as long as you’re captive, I’ve got a little holiday tale.

A couple weeks back, I cashed in a very generous gift certificate. On a Friday evening, after a particularly bad week, I walked into a very fancy spa in a hotel. I was the only one there, so I headed to the snack area in my robe and grabbed more than my fair share of almonds and dried apricots. I hurried back to the “heat experience” room, eager to wring out every dollar’s worth of the whirlpool and sauna. Beaten by jets, pores purified, I let a woman named Karen attack the knots in my neck and shoulders. Afterward, I climbed back into my clothes, feeling as sleepy and relaxed as a baby whose been driven around in the car until she falls asleep. And while I waited for the elevator to take me back down to reality, I was transfixed by the scene in the hotel bar. It was crowded, high above the glittering lights of the city and the dark trees of Central Park. Women were holding glasses of champagne and little handbags that cost as much as my rent. You know when someone just looks expensive? It was like I was seeing dollar signs everywhere I looked, on ring fingers, hanging from earlobes, in slim martini glasses being knocked back one after another. It all started to make me sad.

Let me explain: I was very lucky to have received such a luxurious gift, and I was grateful for it. At the same time, I realized that in my own life I was regularly participating in an exchange I wasn’t sure I liked very much. My time for money; my money for things to make me feel better. Spending mindfully on objects and experiences that enrich our lives is one thing. But pissing away dollars to make up for the fact that we’re stressed, that we’re tired, that we work too hard and take too little care of ourselves––it’s a cycle all too easy to get caught up in. And there I was.

Continue reading “What Are Your Most Treasured Holiday Traditions?” »

1. stripey puff-sleeve top 2. duck boots 3. Annick Goutal Gardenia Passion 4. France and Hammer necklace 5. Benetint 6. gray cowl 7. jeggings

One of the few times I read Goop, I picked up a pretty sage piece of advice: build yourself a uniform. Uniforms remove the guesswork for those of us unusually pressed for time or short on inspiration. Give yourself the right pieces, and you can always look cute.

But what the hell are those right pieces? It can feel like a search for Waldo. Earlier this winter, over what should have been a charmed Saturday brunch, I remember feeling hopelessly dorky in my outfit. Elsewhere in the restaurant, I saw a young family eating with visiting grandparents. The young blond mom had a great, face-flattering haircut. The rest of her outfit was super simple: a comfy, but cool-looking top, well-fitting pants, and edgy earrings. It was all so easy it demonstrated one of my mom’s key pieces of style advice: let the woman, rather than the clothes, shine.

After many more badly dressed winter days, I decided to do a bit of shopping. You might share this particular thrifty girl bugaboo: even if I’ve been wearing the same clothes for years, I often have trouble biting the shopping bullet. I’m happy to spring for vintage summer dresses, but when it comes to wardrobe workhorses, let’s just say my closet has a few holes.

But a cute, warm coat and a new favorite sweater can––no matter how shallow it sounds––change your life. When you like your outfit, you feel good, and when you feel good, you project a confidence and irresistible energy that will come back to you like a boomerang.  And if that sounds too The Secret for you, you’re just going to have to take my word for it.

I accidentally stumbled on a formula that works for me right now in my work-from-home life: jeggings, puff sleeve sweaters and stripey tops, a down coat and duck boots. If this feels a little utilitarian, it’s all about the accessories: a spritz of the marvelously green-smelling Gardenia Passion makes me feel like a harbinger of spring and a few touches of understated gold jewelry have me channeling Left Bank cool girl je ne sais quoi. Do you have a winter uniform? What are those magically easy essentials that make you feel pulled-together and chic?

This year I have officially decided: if it has to be winter, than I’d like there to be snow. There is something unflappably cheerful about the sun reflecting off all that white, bouncing into our faces and into our homes. And when the weather is like this, I have a near Pavlovian response to listen to the  radio station that I listened to in college from my bare, sparsely-furnished off-campus bedroom. On days when I didn’t have morning classes, I had a ritual I don’t engage in enough these days: I would wake up early, make some coffee, and then head back to bed, my uncurtained windows filling the whole room with bright light, and attack the pile of reading on my bedside table: Richard III, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Art in Theory. It was a fine life indeed (even if I was distracted from the world of great literature and big ideas by my crazed, single-minded focus on boys; such is the life of a 20-year-old.) Which is all to say that when the winter days are bright and sunny, I still like to listen to Radio K. And for your listening pleasure I’ve put together a mix of bright, wintery tunes, inspired in part by my favorite college radio station.

Continue reading “Mixtape: Sunny, Sunny Snow Day” »

Today is the reason people hate winter. The world has turned depressing shade of gray-brown and the finest tree branches are entirely encased in ice. Christmas trees splay abandoned, curbside, and the precipitation falling from a sky of doom and gloom is what weather forecasters benignly call a “wintery mix”: it’s too wet to be snow, too icy to be rain. Approaching a corner, one plots how to circumnavigate an icy puddle of indeterminate depth the way one strategized during a game of Oregon Trail how to cross a river. Should we ford it? Float? I helped a woman with a heavy stroller cross one such body of water and saved her from what looked like a near nervous breakdown. “You are a Good Samaritan,” she said. Nonsense––you see a lady juggling two kids, an umbrella, pending expletives, and there’s no choice but to help. In weather like this, the choices are stick together or turn against each other.

And so: I dedicate this weather-beaten Tuesday following a heavenly holiday weekend to our resistance of the bleak midwinter. First up, the bath product that is easy on the pocket and with which I am newly obsessed. I took two baths yesterday, not because I was unprecedentedly begrimed, but because this “bath elixir” is so divinely calming. Too often, inexpensive bath products smell like a gagingly artificial bouquets of cloyingly sweet fruits and flowers. Not so here. Something somewhat romantically called Iceland Moss soothes skin and relaxes tired muscles, and a restrained pour of the molasses-thick gel creates rich bubbles with better-than-average staying power. I especially like the amber glass bottle reminiscent of an old school apothecary. All this delight for $9.99 (or less) is a happy find, indeed, slush and snow or no. We need all the help we can get.

It wasn’t the snow day we had hoped for. Yes, it did snow, and a thick white blanket covered town giving garbage cans queenly crowns. But there was still work to be done, and there were no pork fried dumplings to be had. Truth be told, I felt a bit sad about it. I thought I would glide from a deep sleep into a day that exists outside of time. The kind of day with stolen kisses and afternoon movies and latte art and peacefully, cozily looking out the window of our favorite Chinese restaurant surrounded by blue and white china and tiny cups of jasmine tea. But then the alarm clock went off.

It reminded me of a time in sixth grade when I stayed up half the night with my older brother and sister watching The Bodyguard (it was 1993, after all) certain that school would be closed in the morning. I bet all my little 11-year-old chips, and in the cold light of day stood beside a snow bank, cranky and light-headed, waiting for the school bus to arrive.

Sebastian pulled on his big, heavy black boots and kissed me goodbye. I stayed tangled up in the white sheets for awhile. I felt robbed of something that wasn’t even mine. Do you know that feeling?

I consoled myself by getting back to dairy a day earlier than my detox suggested. I brewed up a spitting-hot espresso maker of coffee and poured in organic half and half until it was that perfect color I hope to someday paint the walls of my mythical house in the woods. I painted Benetint on my lips and cheeks. I tried to cover the blemish on the end of my nose that won’t. go. away. (Do you know that feeling?) I tied a Bardot-esque thick black ribbon in my hair and turned on my favorite college radio station. I gave myself a tarot reading. Cards about waiting, nonaction, surrender, and trusting in the future appeared. I took this as a sign to dip my little boat in the river of the day that is––instead of the day I wanted––pulled on my boots, and stepped out into the snowy day. I picked something up for you:

Don’t you love these little pom poms?