There’s magic there, if we make it
My, does it feel good to be home. But it always feels a little awkward coming back: walking through your own front door to a strangely quiet house, reappearing at work, resurfacing on your own blog. (Hi! I missed you!) I was away longer than expected. Hurricane Irene wreaked airport havoc just as we should have been boarding our flight home, and we couldn’t get home for another week. That was certainly an exercise in letting go.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. We went to Washington to attend a wedding, the kind that takes place in a 1930s summer, where you’re greeted with an ice cream social and the groom processes to the alter with his ecstatic trombone leading a ragtag marching band. We arrived a week early to drive up to the San Juan Islands and settle ourselves into a cottage on a bay. You know how whipped into a fever life can get right before a vacation? You’re aching for a break, but there are nine thousand details to attend to before you can even head to the airport.
As soon as we walked into this tiny little cottage and I sat down, looked out past the birds in the front yard and onto the water, those tight-fisted stress knots in my shoulders and brain loosened and dissolved. Salt air can do that. I read in the mornings and did yoga on the front deck. I hiked steep mountain paths through the woods, and bought dungeness crabs, clams, and oysters from the seafood operation down the road. They kept a very gorgeous red rooster strutting around the front yard and a bouquet of dahlias on the counter. In the evenings, the hot tub, a glass of wine, and my very juicy Ava Gardner biography awaited. We cooked on the grill and ate outside, and I fell asleep in the sunshine. Even a rainy day felt right. We sat by the fire and ate chocolate chip cookies with our books on our laps, a ukulele and a guitar at our feet.
All that relaxing set the stage to ride the ferry back to the mainland and point our car toward the wedding. We sat in an arc of chairs in front of the water on a day bright with sunshine and expectation. We listened as two dear friends and very kind, special people shared the most honest, thoughtful vows I’ve ever heard. Wedding ceremonies so often get caught up in promises hard to visualize. What does what you’re saying look like in real life, like, on a crappy Tuesday when it’s raining and you don’t have any clean socks? These vows were as much about love and support as living a life that meant something together––starting now. They spoke about the everyday and their promise to show up each morning––to make it fun, to work hard, to keep being curious, to be creative, to cook. I wanted to say, I do, too. Instead, I cried behind my sunglasses and squeezed Sebastian’s hands, and thought of all the ways I wanted to keep showing up in my own life. I realized with a bitter pang, one of those knots reappearing in my throat, just how absent I had been.
The wonderful thing about weddings is how often they encourage everyone present to make their own commitments. When a couple is brave enough to take a giant leap together into the unknown, and you are witness to their nervous smiles, their cracking voices––it always makes me want to love better. But this wedding made me want to live better. I came to vacation worn-down, exhausted, barely myself. My friends stood in front of their family and friends looking so excited. They reminded me of the adventure of life, especially in its most quiet, quotidian moments. There’s magic there, if we make it. On that incredible day, we all ate and laughed and danced to Michael Jackson into the night. But I knew part of them couldn’t wait to get back to their kitchen table, the desks, their garden out front. I couldn’t either.
Kristina Strain: Welcome back! I missed you so.35 weeks ago
Rebecca: Beautiful pictures. Were you the one that erased the letters on the garden board to spell dirty words?
35 weeks ago
Sharon: welcome back, I missed your musings…35 weeks ago
megan: now i feel a little bit like i was there. i’m not surprised about anything, and i feel now like even i can carry a little of that sentiment back to daily life. welcome home.35 weeks ago
Annie: I was just thinking yesterday how much I was missing your pieces here on Pink of Perfection and then you pop up with this wonderfully happy reminder. I couldn’t agree more than in the hard slog of everyday it can be so easy to keep showing up as your best self. I often feel in my over-scheduled days that while my body may be physically present, I’m not giving the person or the experience my all. Chalk it up to lack of mental energy, technological distraction, or sheer laziness–all three are to blame at some point. Thank you for reminding me that life is my choose your own adventure tale.35 weeks ago
Hey, Kristina! Wow, this feels like a reunion!
Rebecca, Oh lord, how embarrassing. I didn’t even see that!
Thanks, Sharon, I missed writing them and reading your comments!
sweet megan, you were missed, but we also thought and talked about you a bunch. xo
Oh, Annie––I love that! A choose your own adventure! So true. It was a good reminder for me that while there’s a lot we don’t have control over, there’s quite a bit we do.
35 weeks ago
Suse: You were missed!35 weeks ago
Sasha: Welcome back! It sounds like you might have been on Orcas Island? My family used to vacation there most Summers when I was growing up, and it is indeed a very magical place! Glad you had a wonderful vacation!35 weeks ago
Tricia A: Fantastic post! I teared up and felt inspired. Thank you. Welcome back…..you’ve been missed! : ) I love recharging the batteries and deciding to “show up” again and again. Because everyday is a new chance at that.35 weeks ago
Laureen: Sarah – this is so beautifully written, and so perfect for the end of summer/return of fall when it seems like playtime is over.
Completely inspired by your friends’ vows… Wanting to do more to show up everyday for my husband–and for myself. Sometimes it definitely feels easier to be your best self for others and just phone it in when it’s time to take care of you.35 weeks ago
Thanks, Suze, feels good to be back.
Sasha, Bingo! I loved it! What a magical place to go every summer.
Tricia, Every day is a chance, but it’s so easy to forget that. Thank you for that pointed reminder!
Thank you, Laureen!
This time of year can feel poignant and bittersweet but you are so right: it’s also a time to turn the page and start a new (really good!) chapter. Also, I love the idea of showing up for yourself, too.35 weeks ago
Katie: Sarah
Welcome home. I will not pretend like I did not compulsively check your blog for new posts every other week. Sounds like a beautiful trip.35 weeks ago
Cadi: Welcome Home Sarah! It’s so good to have you and your rosy outlook back – I speak for all of us when I say I missed you.
I too compulsively checked your blog for new posts weekly, I’m so glad I’m not alone.
What a wonderful trip you had! I love Orcas, I actually lived in Anacortes for two years, just a handful of blocks from the ferry terminal. It’s a pretty magical place in the world. Glad you relaxed and enjoyed yourselves!35 weeks ago
Anne: Beauty! I just returned from a wedding (my first as a married woman) and it certainly is a different experience. No more hoping that I’ll end up there one day, more love and aspiration35 weeks ago
Katie: Welcome back, sweet Sarah! Like everyone else, I missed you.
I definitely needed this reminder to “keep showing up in my own life.” I adore weddings, and I love that this one made you want to live better. (And yes, what a great time of year to start something new.)
And that sunset picture is perfection.35 weeks ago
Sarah R: It’s so good to see this blog! I’m spending a long weekend next month with friends, and I look forward to so many of the things you enjoyed during your time off!35 weeks ago
domestikate: Lovely to have you back! And what a post to bring us on your return – challenging and inspiring all rolled in to one, wouldn’t expect anything less from you! =D35 weeks ago
Catherine: Both happy you’re back and that you had such a wodnerful time, Sarah! You were missed and seem to have been part of movement that is still going on- bloggers losing their groove and going quiet. Feels like a scary trend so glad you’re back!35 weeks ago
Hilary: Welcome back, Sarah! I am ass-deep in (unwelcome) unforeseen twists and turns and am definitely wishing I could head to the misty quietude of my old stomping grounds, the Pacific Northwest, to mull it all over. Your blog is the next best thing. Raising a glass to resiliency, autumn & the return of Pink of Perfection…35 weeks ago
Emily: Oh, Sarah…I have *missed* you and your lovely and thoughtful and miraculously timed posts. Welcome back.35 weeks ago
Tami -- Teacher Goes Back to School: welcome home. missed you and your wonderful posts while you were away, but so happy for you that you had a chance to recharge and reconnect with yourself and your husband.
orcas island is one of my fantasy vacation destinations. at some point (soon?) i shall make it happen. the pacific northwest is so beautiful this time of year. the ferries, the light, the coolness of the mornings.
man, the part about the being present in one’s own life? tears. it’s hard not to let the every day wear you down. thanks for the bright spot here, sarah.35 weeks ago
Amy --- Just A Titch: My dear Sarah! YOU ARE BACK! I’m so happy. I missed your posts terribly. And this post is exactly why. So beautiful and poignant. Thanks for showing up here, today <335 weeks ago
Anita: Aw! Welcome back girly. So nice to read your words. So glad you had a restful vacation. Missed your posts. Kept checking back here, wanted to know how you faired during that hurricane business. Glad you and your hubby are doing well.35 weeks ago
Kate: Yay! So glad you’re home. The best vacation of my life (so far) was on Orcas Island; I loved being reminded by your photos. Am currently struggling with the back-to-school mind/body readjustment, so your reminder about being present is especially important to me.35 weeks ago
brie.: fantastic post. love wedding vows, of all kinds. such a reminder of what we’ve promised and who we are called to be.35 weeks ago
Thank you all so much for these welcome home comments! Such warm welcome!
Cadi, I can’t believe you lived in Anacortes! We went to Adrift TWICE we loved it so much (embarrassing!), and I loved all the junk shops and that arresting view. I DEFINITELY was having fantasies of moving!
35 weeks ago
MrsB: *dancing a little jig* I missed you!!35 weeks ago
SarahJ: whew, happy you’re back and articulating things in lovely ways.35 weeks ago
SarahJ: whew, happy you’re back and articulating things in lovely ways (as always).35 weeks ago
Elizabeth: Beautiful post, Sarah. I love how you described the wedding…it was so, incredibly, special, as are the bride and groom. Was great to see you, only sorry there wasn’t more time to catch up! Glad to hear the rest of your vacation was fabulous. Sounds absolutely perfect. xoxo35 weeks ago
Dane: I am so happy to see you back; for a while, I worried that you might not, and I love your blog so much. You are a comfort and an inspiration.
Sounds like you had a wonderful time.35 weeks ago
Laura: Why does it always take the fresh perspective from someone who lives far away to make you realize what you have in your own back yard? Namely, I need to go to to Orcas Island. I don’t live too terribly far from there. Why don’t I ever go?
Your blog always opens my eyes to so many wonderful ideas and this time it hit home. Literally.
Thank you for being a place I can come when I am in need of inspiration.35 weeks ago
Kathy: so glad you’re back!!! I love this post…thinking up making a committment to “show up” to my life more!35 weeks ago
Dana: this post is simply lovely. welcome home.35 weeks ago
Erika: This was a beautiful blog post and a wonderful reminder. I think that saying “show up each morning” should be on a poster. I’ve long read your blog, but never commented. I just thought this post was too perfect and sweet to not comment! Thanks for this
35 weeks ago
Evon T.: There IS magic there when we want it and make it so. I love this post. Thank you, Sarah. And welcome back, just in time for our favorite time of year. Fall… it’s truly magical in its own right.35 weeks ago
Jen: I really feel like I had a mini-break just now. Beautiful. I so would like to make my next vacation about *being* as opposed to *doing.* And how wonderful to get so much from that wedding ceremony. I love this part “…and thought of all the ways I wanted to keep showing up in my own life.” Showing up in your own life… what a great concept and something I really needed to hear today, so thank you so much!35 weeks ago
Sara Rose: I hope you’re feeling more like yourself now. Sometimes we have to go away to come back.
Your vacation sounds completely lovely, it sounds like some of my favorite vacations from when I was a kid.
I don’t really like vacations where every single second of every day is planned out to be DOING SOMETHING. That, to me, is not a vacation.
We loved reading your post and are glad you’re back. Welcome home.
S.35 weeks ago
Kanesha: So glad to have you back, Sarah. Excellent post. It was a great read during my work break and I feel myself breathing a little more easily after some desk yoga. Thanks for the inspiration.35 weeks ago
Kristine: Welcome back! So glad that you had a rejuvenating time away. Missed reading your thoughtful and inspiring musings!35 weeks ago
Elen: Sounds like you had a wonderful break, but glad you are back!
35 weeks ago
Karen: Lovely post….. welcome back!35 weeks ago
Kim R: You were definitely missed. My days have seemed sunnier since reading your vacation post.35 weeks ago
Javacia: Thank you so much for this post. I want to love better and live better after reading this. Your blog is always so inspiring to me. I’m so glad you’re back!34 weeks ago
geek+nerd: Oh Sarah…I’m sure you have the “no-clean socks Tuesdays” but I bet the other 95% of the time that you are just as magical as can be. I’m glad that you got to have some much needed relaxation time.
On a separate note – rag tag marching band? Now THAT’S a wedding procession that I would’ve loved to see!34 weeks ago