What’s The Best Thing About Living Alone?
On Sunday night, I took a cab to a leafy street near the water in Brooklyn. I stood outside the red building and rang the buzzer, then climbed five flights of stairs and felt like I was in Barefoot in the Park. And then the front door opened into a kind of single woman oasis: there were gin and tonics, and a big closet, and a bathroom all to oneself, a big couch and television with no programming compromises, and the crowning glory: a rickety staircase that led up to a rooftop deck.
When I was in college sharing apartments with roommates, I always dreamed about the apartment I would have to myself. I would decorate it with thrift store finds and spend evenings listen to my records. I would have girlfriends over for happy hours and impromptu dinners. I would paint the bedroom a perfect ’60s pink.
What happened instead is that I fell cuckoo crazy in love with someone earlier in my personal timeline than I ever expected. I moved across the country to be with him, and when I arrived in our shared city, kept living with roommates. No princess phone, no solo evenings listening to Aretha Franklin; just more arguments about who didn’t wash the dishes. Until, that is, the lover boy and I decided to move in together, and that was wickedly fun in a million ways I hadn’t anticipated.
But washing my hands in the pedestal sink of my friend’s bathroom, standing under a skylight that carried down the laughter from the roof, I remembered all those daydreams from when I was younger about what it would look like to be young and living alone, to be the mistress of my domain, to eat guacamole for dinner and have no one to answer to. So for all of us who never got the chance, I’m asking the rest of you who once did or currently do to fuel our fantasy: What’s the very best thing about living alone?
megan: well, i was only living alone part-time, but when we first moved into the oakland apartment, i had gummy bears for breakfast standing naked in the kitchen three times the first week. for decadence and the fact that nobody can judge you. i also loved the sight of all the glasses washed and put away in the cupboard. the clean apartment and knowing when it got unclean, it was only my own fault. nobody holding me accountable was the best and worst part of living alone!43 weeks ago
Andrea: The best thing about living alone is being able to leave my sewing projects set up on the dining room table for weeks on end. And being able to do a workout dvd whenever I want.43 weeks ago
Kristina Strain: Simplicity. I lived alone the summer after my freshman year of college, in a basement apartment in a city where I knew approximately no one. It was just me and the centipedes for three months, and it was positively bliss. I taught myself how to cook, how to bake bread, and how to be alone. There were no G&Ts, and no rooftop deck but, it was the happiest time of my life.43 weeks ago
Laura: Oh, how I love living alone.
Quiet.
Clean.
Messy, but only my mess.
I eat goat cheese for dinner and drink wine as soon as I get home.
I can DVR All My Children and Say Yes to the Dress, no judgment.
I spend a lot of time naked in the morning while getting ready.
Sleeping late with no stirring elsewhere.
My very own couch.
But of course, I miss my roommates, endless talking, spontaneous outings, and group dinners.
You always want what you don’t have!43 weeks ago
Liz H.: I didn’t really realize it until I moved in with my husband, but I loved that when I lived alone, 100% of the household (me!) liked everything I did. If dinner was good, everyone (me!) was happy. If the house was nice and tidy, everyone (me!) liked it. If I reorganized the bathroom, everyone (me!) thought it was great!
When I got married, I wasn’t used to someone else not sharing my triumphs. The little housekeeping things that I adored before just weren’t important to him.
I guess that was my favorite part about living alone.
(Parenthetically: My husband and I are apart for the summer while I’m working at an internship abroad, and for as much as I miss him, I do enjoy the private celebrations I have after a nice meal, looking at a clean kitchen and folded laundry.)43 weeks ago
wendy: Well, for the nine months that I did get to live alone, I got to say who came over and when, or not. When I ate was up to me. Where I went had no arguements. Oh, to be alone even for a short time during the day with no needing anything from me!
It was fabulous! Eating my breakfast on the tiny balcony before work. Hair drying naturally in the fresh mountain air. Not having anyone else’s mess to walk around or look at was wonderful. I am a neat, organized person so my visuals were beauty at all times. It was always peaceful and calm. If I wanted music I got to choose what to listen to and how loud. Just the sense that this was my space and I was the one enjoying it to its fullest. I did share from time to time with friends, the bounty of my space for parties and get togethers, but the defining moment came when they all left and it was all mine again. Boy do I miss it! But I wouldn’t trade this life to have it back……maybe.43 weeks ago
Hilary: I lived alone in Seattle for the better part of 5 years after I (ahem) dropped out of college & before I moved to NYC. My wee studio apartment had a bay window with a massive Space Needle view, I was walking distance from Pike Place Market and Puget Sound, and I had just turned 20. The freedom was exhilarating, and I didn’t know enough to be scared by the enforced self-sufficiency. I’ve always enjoyed solitude, and never felt lonely in my Seattle aerie.
Looking back, being very young and utterly unfettered–by love, ambition, or material possessions–was an invaluable experience. Now, though, what I value most is the confidence that no matter what happens in my life, I could start all over again completely on my own and make it. I know this because I’ve done it once already, for which I am very, very grateful.43 weeks ago
Jen: I live alone, well me and the cat. I can do what I want, when I want, with whom I want but it does get a bit lonely. I start to talk to the cat a bit too much.43 weeks ago
Katie: I’d echo all these comments about the joy of having your very own space, no one to answer to, no one else to pick up after or take care of. I loved the pure stillness of evenings and mornings alone; the solo breakfasts on the balcony; the nights spent reading or writing or just being in my tiny living room. It was only for a year, and my boyfriend-now-husband and sister and friends came over often, but I LOVED having a space that was mine, all mine. (It was also a triumph, for the first time in my life, to be financially independent – and a bonus to be able to walk to work!)43 weeks ago
The Flying Quiche: I lived alone in London for about 6 months and I found true happiness in eating whatever I wanted- I didn’t have to compromise with anyone’s tastes- so I had a lot of shrimp and avocados or tomato salads. A big bottle of Leffe all to myself. Reading until 2 am with no guilt. I also spent a few weekends doing laundry, watching classic movies on TV and napping all at the same time. No rhyme of reason to any of it. Feel like a nap right now? why sure!43 weeks ago
Erica: For me it is a toss up. I love that if I wake up at 3am and don’t want to go back to sleep, I can blast the tv and even make popcorn if I want to and there is no one giving me the evil eye for waking them up.
But I think the thing I really really love is coming home from work to the peace and quiet of a house that has been uninhabited all day. I dont have to worry about what time I should start making dinner or if I should clean up before the housemate gets home. I just have to worry about what kind of snack I want and if my favorite pjs are clean.43 weeks ago
Kelly: I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but looking back, I would say that the best part was not having to come home at any particular time. My husband wouldn’t object to me running errands on my way home from work, but I miss him during the workday and I always want to go straight home to see him instead of going to wander around Target, the mall, the park, etc.
Oh, and the mess was all MY mess. And the TV wasn’t on 20 hours a day. And the remote control didn’t wander off. Haha.43 weeks ago
I am in love with these comments. They make me feel liberated and free just reading them!43 weeks ago
Martie: The best things about living alone? Not having to be courteous of someone else’s feelings & space. Cocktail parties, dinner or movie gatherings? It’s all up to me and my schedule. I can walk around in my birthday suit and have wine and cheese for dinner. Or, if I’d like, I can have a lazy day on the couch with my trusty dvr, without an ounce of guilt. Basically, I can do whatever I want! Ah, the wonderful life of a single gal!43 weeks ago
brie.: at first i thought, i’ve never lived alone, and never will. but now i remember that actually, i did. one summer in the middle of university. i lived in my uni apartment, all on my own. and it was fantastic, for all the reasons listed above, and most importantly, because i learned to be alone with myself. that being said, i love people and i generally love the people i’ve lived with. and i really love the guy i’m going to be living with in less than a couple short weeks – come on wedding!43 weeks ago
brie.: i also just remember that i lived alone in grad school – albeit in university halls here in london, but in a contained studio, and really the same things apply all over again.
43 weeks ago
Kristina: I’ve been living on my own for just a little over a year now and after a couple first months of loneliness, this is what I’ve come to appreciate:
Lazy mornings getting ready without having to wait for anyone to get out of the bathroom or come up with small talk.
No creepy guy my college roommate just met that night sitting in my arm chair.
Full say in all kitchen-related adventures (and no one to know when they go awry!)
Making that first grown up decision to get a kitten.
Being able to watch the same movie/reruns a couple weeks in a row without judgment (sometimes you just want to evoke a certain feeling, ya know?)
Still having great friends within walking distance for impromptu game nights and ice cream runs.
Midnight snack of cheese and crackers, followed up by Nutella straight from the jar.
The apartment you describe here sounds amazing! Since reading it, I’ve already made plans with a friend to go junking to fill my single girl space with some new-to-me goodies.43 weeks ago
EB: Oh man. Where to start. I had pink ruffly silk curtains, a walk in closet JUST FOR MY SHOES!, as many beauty products out on the counter as I pleased, slept diagonally in a big big bed, ate dinner in said bed if I damn well felt like it…. I could go on and on and on…
But…. you’ve got Sebastian. Fair trade I think
43 weeks ago
Amy: Opening the fridge and knowing everything you see is yours for the eating. (No “is this mine?” to worry about.)
Also, (not) wearing pants whenever you want.43 weeks ago
Sarah R: I lived alone for 5 years. It was fantastic. I loved the feeling of coming home to my own space and knowing that no one else could come in unless I let them. I grew herbs in the windows and listened to as much Abba and Nickelback as I wanted, ordered pizza when I felt like it, cooked lots of baked chicken breasts, and managed to blow up a glass cake pan and flush deodorant down the toilet.
Good times.43 weeks ago
Jen: Love all the comments…so spot on – being able to take up all the space (everywhere, including all the closets), hog the T.V. with Lifetime movie marathons, enjoy wine and cheese for dinner!
After a year of living alone, I just moved in my boyfriend and can say that the best part of being alone was that people didn’t want me to be alone. Friends would call and invite me to events, happy hour, dinner, go for a run or walk, or just to make sure I was O.K. Now they know I’m with my boyfriend and doing just fine, but I miss the extra attention!43 weeks ago
Lindsay Baloun: I adore my little pink-as-could-be place. I love that every single thing decorating it was put there by me, and any mess is my mess, and the noise is my noise. I love sitting on my couch when it’s bright in the morning and writing, or doing yoga in my tiny living room under my skylight. I feel lucky to have gotten this time for me-me-me in my space, but I do miss living with my best friends, who I lived with for years, and I really can’t wait for wickedly fun times of my own when the boy and I co-habitate
I guess that’s what it means to say home is where your heart is– regardless of whose shoes are in your way on the floor.43 weeks ago
Kate: A big pink sofa that would never be allowed normally. Three whole wardrobes just for me. The wine and the chocolate are still in the fridge intact. No comments on the myriad of beauty products in the bathroom. Although… the other half of the rent magically appearing in my account for little luxuries could be good too!
43 weeks ago
Molly: Freedom, and creating a space for myself that is absolutely, 100% me. I just moved into an apartment and had to start over from scratch. Every time I walk in the door and see the colors and things I’ve chosen, I feel happy. It is the first time I’ve lived without compromise in 11 years.43 weeks ago
Suse: You don’t have to pick up your underwear. The dog worships you and ONLY you.43 weeks ago
Cadi: After getting over the initial feeling of loneliness there was a lot to love: my whole house with the pink/red/white color scheme; my pretty, soft bed with the white coverlet and pile of pillows that were arranged just as I like (and was actually made every day); knowing that I could go home and make dinner with what was I KNEW was in there, instead of getting home and finding that someone had eaten all the cheese; knowing that everything was right where I left it and if something wasn’t put away there was only one person to blame. And as much as I love my husband, I miss these days sometimes.
My goal is to have a house someday soon with a spare bedroom that I can make as pink and white as I please, so I know I can retreat there and the bed will always be made and fluffy and just how I like it.
43 weeks ago
Karen: I was JUST thinking about this the other day. I lived alone for the first 4 years of being in DC (before my now-hubby moved in 3 years ago) and I was missing my first “real” apartment. It reminded me of Mary’s — you even had to go through the closet to the bathroom like hers! To me, living alone means the TV all to myself; my choice of music at any time of the day; impromptu girls nights in; eating chips and swedish fish for dinner if I feel like it. But, living with a boy has its wonderful perks too
43 weeks ago
Kelly: I lived in a darling studio apartment in a Victorian house for the better part of three years. The studio had a huge lead glass window, an inlaid bookcase and a huge closet. I still miss it. But the best part of living alone was being able to listen to music at all hours, and watch netflix movies at 3 am in my bed (I am a bit of an insomniac).43 weeks ago
Hillary: I love living alone. The kitchen only contains my things, and I don’t have to worry about or remember which board/pan/knife is for meat and which ones aren’t (I’m vegetarian, most of my roommates haven’t been). I know all the knives are sharp and all the pans are good quality. If I break a dish or lose a spoon it doesn’t matter.
Other than that, quiet and being the sole arbiter of bedding are my favorite things.43 weeks ago
Roberta: I usually just lurk, but this post really got me. The best part for me was knowing that I had become a strong, independent woman and could make it on my own. I lived by myself for 5 years: first in an apartment and then I bought the only house I could afford: a tiny fixer-upper which I completely redecorated to my tastes. I’m married now to someone wonderful–seriously, I could have never even dreamed life could be this good–but every now and then I get a little nostalgic about those days of living alone…43 weeks ago
Claire: Where do I start? Going strong 6 years in my Chicago studio…rising at 5 a.m. on a Saturday to go running without disturbing anyone OR waking up at 10 a.m. on a Saturday morning and staying in bed (as long as I please) to watch the tree branches in the wind outside (best during autumn!). Talking back to the TV. Dancing to Nina Simone in my undies. Eating far too many club crackers with spreadable cheese and loving every minute of it. Hanging up the art that makes me happy. Making weekend pancakes for myself and having leftovers. Pretending that I’m 2011′s Mary Tyler Moore. Drinking wine out of coffee mugs and later eating ice cream out of the same coffee mugs. Feeling safe.
But…I do miss hugs. So there’s that. :/
I wouldn’t trade my studio life for anything. Unless it was studio life in, you know, Italy. But Chicago’s a-ok for now.43 weeks ago
Sarah: Home is where I get revitalized. I love to spend time by myself reading, taking naps, listening to music, knitting, doing yoga/pilates, and just sitting on the porch with a drink looking at the world go by. I like my space clean and organized. When I live alone, I can keep it that way.
When I had roommates, I always felt judged, like I wasn’t social enough or doing enough. If I wasn’t out doing something, I felt lame. Now there’s no pressure. I can just do whatever I want and no one else is there to judge.
But I’m moving in with my boyfriend soon! I think that’ll be good for a whole different set of reasons
43 weeks ago
KB: After living alone for 7 years, I have to say that all of the above were the best parts: doing what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted, which I knowingly cherished at the time. Now that my husband has moved in I’ve realized another important aspect that I never considered while actually living alone. Everything that I did as part of my home, I did for myself (cooking, cleaning, decorating, etc…). There is something fulfilling about cooking a great meal for you and only you. It creates a feeling of independence and self respect, an acknowledgement that I love and care for myself. Not that I don’t love and care for my husband (or myself now), its just sometimes harder to find the ‘taking care of me’ aspect within the ‘taking care of us’.43 weeks ago
Carmen: Oh, I like this post.
I’ve lived on my own for 5 years and I LOVE IT. Sure, it’d be nice to have some company once in awhile, but I have friends in walking distance, so it works out OK.
I love it for so many of the reasons listed below — random food experiments (and no one to judge), the fridge to myself. Nights with a “bad” movie and a bottle of wine. Cheese for dinner. My own mess (and I am actually kind of messy). Running around in my skivvies. Dance parties by myself to whatever I feel like listening to.
But really, and someone said it above, it’s knowing that not only can you do it on your own, but you can ENJOY doing it on your own. I’ve learned so much about myself over the past 5 years.43 weeks ago
Emily: I am like you. I never did live alone. I went from my parents place while in University (admittedly I had a lot of fredom and a mini suite – everything but my own kitchen), to living with my then-fiancee, and two other roomates. I was ever so grateful when it became jsut em and my then-fiancee, now husband, but have still never lived alone. I have always been a bit terrified of living completely on my own. I still am. We will be living apart for the better part of a year coming up as I am tied to a Masters program and he has a job out in the country, and reading all of your comments has made me feel less trepidation regarding this upcoming change. Admittedly, I’ll still spend most weekends with hubby, but still, even most weekdays alone is fairly new to me.43 weeks ago
Tricia A: what a fabulous post! I’ve missed you much lately but I get it. This brought me right back to all these same thoughts I had in 5th grade about what kind of shoes I would wear and how my life would look. (I adored my 5th grade teachers shoes!) Remember those big squishy wedges with leather on the strappy sandal part? Oh how I dreamed of them! I wish I could remember the name of them.43 weeks ago
Bethh: I love love love living alone! I am lucky to have great friends at work, so many of my social needs are met in the workday. I love coming home to my quiet, calm oasis. Things are where I left them (for better or worse!) and I have several pleasant hours in front of me. I can happily spend an entire weekend day puttering around and not set a foot outside. I think I love the quiet the best!43 weeks ago
Spiderlgs: I know exactly where everything is all the time.
I can watch whatever I want on TV all the time.
I dont have to talk all day if I dont want to.
I never come home to find out that the ___ that was in the fridge when I left in the morning is all gone.
I never get woken up by anyone.
I can turn up my music really loud at 5 am if I want and dance around in my undies
I can come home and take off my clothes and walk around naked till i feel like hitting the shower.
Everything on my walls represent me.. from the cityscapes to the pictures of my family to my josephine baker prints.. AND i can have my lame figurines that I think are cute because they’re ugly and i dont have to hear about it LOL43 weeks ago
Kate: For me, in that brief period, before I married, after I left roommates behind, the very best part was that I tended to my own needs first! Everyone who has commented before has touched on the specifics, but the wonderful thing about flying solo was that I wasn’t taking care of anyone but myself!43 weeks ago
Bekah: I’ve lived on my own for over 7 years now, and have realized that some of the best things about it are:
1. being able to eat popcorn and drink bourbon and ginger for dinner…3 days in a row…without planning a meal everyone else will like
2. setting an exercise schedule…and keeping it because there’s no one but myself to make plans that interfere with it
3. watching classic movies without okaying it with anyone else
4. having a perfectly clean house for more than just ten minutes…and not having to pick up after anyone but myself
5.being able to decorate (and re-decorate) however I wish, as often as I wish
6. having a more flexible schedule that doesn’t require checking multiple times with other folks to make sure that having someone over, for example, will be ok
I love having my own little world! There are definite benefits to sharing said world, but my goodness, there will be compromises! Every stage of life has its beauty and its pain. Living with someone puts to death (or attempts to) the most selfish parts of you while supplying heart comfort, while living alone can make you feel so alive and yet so empty.43 weeks ago
Becky: I used to dream of having my own house when I was a little girl. Flowers in the windowsill, a dog and cat, soft spaces to sit and cozy up with a book, buying whatever groceries I wanted at the store, puttering around with the windows open in the early morning with a cup of coffee.
As I read your post this morning, I looked around and realized I was actually sitting in my old daydreams. (Though instead of a book, I’m curled up on the couch writing on my laptop and listening to Chet Baker on Pandora.)
I own a tiny house I bought on my own, my dog and cat are curled up next to me on the couch. A cup of coffee is on the table next to me. And it’s all mine. There is one thing missing though …
No flowers in the windowsill! Something I’ll need to rectify ASAP.
Thank you for this.43 weeks ago
KBG in DC: Because of bi-coastal work obligations, my husband and I live separately 2 weeks out of every month and I have to say it has been a HUGE blessing for me and our marriage. Marriage is practically the definition of compromise, so living alone brings back your own autonomy. I love making all the decisions: not only about how to spend time, but how to spend money, define core values, set individual goals. Living with others, I find, means you absorb them into your daily life until they are a part of who you are as a person. Living Aline means you can be truly – and only!- you.
Loved this post Sara, thank you!43 weeks ago
outrageandsprinkles: I think my very favorite thing is knowing that if I clean, it will stay clean until I mess it up. I don’t have to worry about coming home to a messy house unless I left it that way. This really cuts down on stress and worry. I also love being able to just watch or listen to whatever I want whenever I want.43 weeks ago
Erin: My favorite part about living alone is my morning ritual with my cat. She’s been with me since college, and knows my routine pretty well. She is always right there with me when I wake up, and knows that the first thing I will do is pee, so she leads me into the bathroom, and hangs out while I’m in there. Next, she knows it’s coffee time, so she leads me into the kitchen, and buzzes around my feet while I grind the beans, knowing that filling up her food bowl comes next. Then she eats while I check emails.
It seems small, but us having this little routine together is really sweet for me, and something I miss when I have overnight visitors, and/or a roommate to disturb it.
43 weeks ago
Maureen: Someone said it above and I agree, freedom. Freedom to do whatever struck my fancy. If I wanted to pack a bag and hit the road for the weekend, I went. One summer, I ate bean and avocado burritos every night for a month-and was perfectly content. The greatest gift of living by myself, I came to realize I am quite good company, so I am never afraid to be alone.43 weeks ago
Steph: I am about to move in with my boyrfriend and I am already missing my 1 bedroom apartment!
Favourites of living alone:
-Playing loud Disney tunes and singing along with no judgement
-Being naked whenever I want
-Having bonding time with my cat
-Cooking really well, to impress only myself
-Being content with any mess I might leave in the kitchen in the morning, because it will be there when I get home – just as I left it.
-SPRAWLING over my whole bed and having wonderful, peaceful, quiet nights. Best sleeps I’ve ever had in my life.43 weeks ago
pattyskypants: In my whole life I have only lived alone for five weeks. It was quiet and the toilet seat was always down.43 weeks ago
Donna: I just moved into my own place after living with and being married for several years. Honestly, it’s the peace and quiet, along with not having to worry about anyone else. It’s the decorating the place the way you want and not worring about making it too feminine. It’s being able to plug in your ipod and play what you want. Being able to hog the bed and the covers when you feel the need. It’s a toilet seat being down all the time and not having to clean up the stains on the floor. It’s really just being able to exhale when you need to.43 weeks ago
Catherine: *Ice cream for dinner.
*Lay on the couch ALL weekend and watch chick flicks w/o feeling guilty about how much yardwork husband is getting done.
* Sleep in complete peace and quiet- taking up entire bed.43 weeks ago
Amie: What’s the best part of living alone???
EVERYTHING.43 weeks ago
Nicole: I feel like I must start by saying that I live with the man of my dreams.
But having lived by myself for three years before I found him, there were a couple of single lady behaviors that I developed. I miss doing those behaviors at my leisure! But like I said, he is the man of my dreams and I wouldn’t change it for the world!43 weeks ago
deanne: I really enjoy getting ready for bed–washing my face, brushing my teeth, climbing into my big comfy bed with my 2 cats and watching Family Guy before falling asleep every night, ALONE. I’m in a long-distance, long-term relationship and when we do share a bed I cannot get comfortable and cannot sleep well. I’m trying to persuade him in having separate bedrooms if we ever do get married!43 weeks ago
Paige: I’ve been living alone for a year now, and I love it, just like most of you have said. But I wanted to comment because it’s so cool to see women celebrating single freedom rather than being sad about it
Definitely encouraging!43 weeks ago
Heather: When I lived alone, the whole apartment was a museum and I was the curator. I have an extensive, eclectic art collection and I spent weeks getting everything just like I wanted it.
My bed was the softest, most plush, cozy bed there was; no one to complain that they really prefer a firmer mattress…
My projects could stay on the dining table until they were finished. Who needs to eat at a proper table? When I had friends over for dinner, I’d throw cushions on the floor around my short coffee table for seating.
No one to judge me for eating an entire order of crab rangoon for dinner, and no one to tell me he-told-me-so when I get a bellyache later : ) My decisions, my consequences.43 weeks ago
Nova: I have to say, even though I am 100% loving life living with my boyfriend and his two kids, I still daydream of living in my own place. I guess most of it is having all the say in the decor and how clean everything is. I don’t mind day old dishes but OH MY FUCKING GOD don’t put something away in the cutlery drawer that isn’t spotless or I’ll kill you.
No, I don’t want tattoo flash displayed in the living room.
That kind of thing.43 weeks ago
etameca: What I love is being able to watch whatever I want on tv (endless episodes of Matlock) while not having to keep the channel on NatGeo, making pancakes and vanilla glaze icing for dinner without having to worry about what anyone else wants, having my cross stitch projects sprawled across the kitchen table, magazines stacked in a dining chair, rendering it useless, putting the dog in my bed to snuggle with mama without someone else telling me to put her down so we don’t get hair all over the place. And Sarah, ohhh these are just a few things. The list is long, and I haven’t felt lonely. I do have more of an independent spirit, so the idea of living with someone while they’re in another wing of the house is super appealing. I just love having my own space. I wonder if my beau would agree to marrying me and then living next door : )… (I’m only half joking).43 weeks ago
heather: when i was in college, and had scads of roommates, i SWORE i’d never live alone, and i ESPECIALLY wouldn’t ever live in a studio apartment.
after graduating, i promptly moved into a studio apartment, by myself, and lived thus for upwards of six years. IT WAS THE BEST!!! everything everyone has said: yes, yes yes. also, LEAVING the house was a whole different thing. “i’m going to go wander around the neighborhood aimlessly, aaaand it turns out i’m going to end up taking an impromptu docent-led tour of the historic elks lodge, be home…god knows when–after i stop for too much persian take-out, and then i’m watching ‘say anything’ AGAIN” is something you never have to say to yourself, and somehow never do say to your husband.
now, when my husband (who i wouldn’t trade for anything) goes out of town, being alone is delicious BECAUSE he’ll be home soon…eating a box of mac & cheese + a can of tuna for dinner, staying up til all hours watching ‘house hunters international,’ drinking diet coke til my face falls off because who cares how much i toot?…is more luxurious because that window’ll close soon enough.
one massive bonus to living with someone (who is your legal life partner): someone else can make all the horrible customer service phone calls (insurance, cable…). another bonus? sometimes, you open the fridge…and there’s delicious food that YOU DIDN’T PUT THERE!!! it’s like magic.43 weeks ago
Ginger: This was a fun question to think about. I lived alone for one glorious year between college, and getting married. As you said, my personal timeline rushed a bit by falling in love unexpectedly. I liked the freedom that the place I lived (this old townhouse) was completely my own. No having to take into consideration space or layout or laundry needs or how much yard was enough. Also, I supposed it was fun not worrying if the bedspread I picked out was too girly, but mostly, I like not being so lonely. ‘Specially when I’m not feeling so great — physically or metaphysically. But complete control of any decorating, movie, dinner and so on choices was nice.
On the other hand, since I’ve gotten him hooked on Mad Men, I pointed out that even those manly men didn’t really mind if the house was a little frilly. Work is his domain, the house is mine.
That sounds much more deliciously old-fashioned than I even intended (I do work, just not 9-5 office-type).
As a good compromise, since Husband and I don’t yet have children, we’ve always had rooms we sort of unofficially claimed as our own. I don’t like the whole “man-cave” connotation, but really, is there anything manlier than a study in deep leathers and framed diplomas and such? And I have dreams someday of a little playhouse out back just for me, that I can stack high as I want with books and flowers and velvety curtains.43 weeks ago
Ginger: Oh, and having a husband who was in the Navy for a few years really helped! Four years in the Navy is my magical potion for the start of a happy marriage — perfect transition between singlehood and married life. I think it should be practically required for young couples! Best of both worlds, and you always appreciate whether they’re home or away!
(Only partly kidding.)43 weeks ago
Katherine: I may be echoing other commenters here, but…wearing, or not wearing, whatever you want. It is the perfect statement of comfort and boldness, freedom and self-love, no sexual-anything implied. No judgement, no courtesy, just you. My favorite time to be only underwear-clad is getting ready in the morning, eating breakfast and taking in the early hours and quiet by myself, just myself.43 weeks ago
Rebecca: Hmm.. being able to sit on the sofa and watch Coronation Street while eating my dinner and reading the paper, I’d say. Heaven!43 weeks ago
Lisa J: I am definitely on the same wavelength! My husband (an academic) is spending the majority of the summer off doing research trips. This summer of living alone has been a struggle! I feel like there’s an endless list of house chores, long stretches of time where I fail to structure my time productively, and it’s kind of dull.
In the past, when my husband is gone for a conference weekend or just few days, I like Heather (above) tend to savor the time alone – eating mac and cheese and watching WAY too much HGTV or reruns of Law and Order. But this is not a sustainable routine!
It’s really hard to go back – or to bridge – the married/co-habitant lifestyle with the freedom of being a single gal!
I responded more here: http://lisasaidit.blogspot.com/2011/07/retreating.html43 weeks ago
Nichola: One aspect of living alone that I enjoy is not having to worry about anyone else hearing the terrible rendition of whatever new song I’m learning to play on guitar
This post reminded me of this video poem called “How to be alone”
http://vimeo.com/1434387442 weeks ago
Rebekah: The best things about living, basically, alone. (I had a roommate who was almost never, ever home) I would have to say complete music control. Also, entertaining exactly the way I wanted to. I would have my friends over and cook and we would share wine and clean up duties. Lots of fun, and something that I miss, now that I am with the rents again until I finally graduate.42 weeks ago
Melissa: There are way too many perks when it comes to living alone but ones off of the top of my head: Never compromising on anything. Whatever I want to eat, listen, watch I can do. Best thing is sleeping soundly because I don’t have any snoring, etc. I can decorate it any way I want.
I crave a lot of alone time so when I get home from work I just want to chill and be left alone. The cat is happier, too.
The only downside is not having as much money because I have to front everything by myself so I can’t eat as well as I want to or go out as often as I would like. Oh well.42 weeks ago
dee: I think the best part of living by yourself, is yourself. Getting to know that person. I know now what I will, and will not live with, or without.
I know that I will live for me, and with me. Not the other way around.
To wake up to me is not so bad after all. I am a good person, and worth spending time alone with.
Its made me face myself….except myself…..laugh at myself……be honest with myself…..its helped me to grow up……and live my own life……thats what I like about living alone………Getting to know me….40 weeks ago
LH: Just moved into my first own place this summer (after 16 roommates, and growing up in a family of 6 and lots of visitors). I might need to consult all these comments for things to appreciate when I’m feeling a bit lonely!37 weeks ago
Inga Elle: The best thing about living alone is just being.
30 weeks ago
Doing what you want to do, with no one looking at you crazy and judging you.
Playing your music as loud as you want. Dancing around in your undies. Talking out loud to yourself. Turning the key to your door after a long day’s work, and entering into complete peace and quiet. Decorating your place however you want without worrying about anyone else’s opinions.
Just being able to do things on your own terms is liberating.
shweta: Hello there,
I can relate myself so much to this message of yours. I too have dreams in the similar way, I did live alone for a couple of months, but here in India, the tradition is more like living with the family types and to my dismay I also had to share my room, but I could not get my dreams get away. I did that every little thing I could and I am very happy with it.
Luv
Shweta11 weeks ago