Egg Salad with Greek Yogurt and Dill and Feeling Spread Thin
It has been three weekdays since I last checked in here, and that breaks my heart a little bit. There were new responsibilities at work to contend with, and a weekend trip to a house in the Texas hill country, where a pale dock jutted into our own private bend of the river. I spent the plane ride home staring out the window at a dramatic, changing sky and made a list of the joys I needed to put on the docket this week: schedule a haircut, buy flowers, have an adventure. My to do list has been so full of errands and duties that in the quiet, still air way up in the clouds, room for fun not only seemed necessary but possible.
On the ground, the view looks different again. I’m back in the thick of it, instead of peering down at my life from an airplane’s view. There is a thoroughly dead bouquet of tulips on the kitchen table (and another in the bedroom), we’re out of coffee, I haven’t been to the gym in days and we ordered falafel for dinner last night. I believe this is what they call feeling spread thin: operating at subsistence level, taking care of what’s most pressing, but hardly having the time or the energy to raise your eye line above the horizon. Known informally among some as “failing at life.”
I’m adjusting to a new batch of change, and lord knows I’m no whizz at that. But it will happen in its own sweet time. I’m trying to remember to be soft with myself, though to be honest, it’s much easier to offer that kind of gentleness to others. It all just makes me long for something simple, like this egg salad. Though really, can someone come over and make it for me? Word of warning: the kitchen’s a mess.
What’s the first thing to go in your life when you feel spread thin (your blog, the gym, cooking)? And how do you eventually get back on track? Is it just a matter of waiting for the storm to ease up a bit? And how do you keep your sanity until then?
Open-Faced Egg Salad Sandwiches with Greek Yogurt and Dill
from Super Natural Every Day
Serves 2 to 4
2 tablespoons Greek yogurt
1 tablespoon chopped fresh dill
1 tablespoon chopped fresh chives
4 slices artisan whole grain bread
unsalted butter
1 clove garlic
4 large eggs, hard cooked and cooled
Combine the yogurt, a couple pinches of salt, a small pinch of bepper, and the herbs. Set aside.
Toast the bread until it is deeply golden. Rub each piece with a bit of butter, then take the clove of garlic and rub it against each slice. Set aside.
Crack and peel each egg. Put them in a medium mixing bowl. Add the yogurt mixture and mash with a fork. Don’t overdo it; you want the egg mixture to have some texture. If you need to add some more yogurt to moisten the mixture, go for it, a small dollop at a time. Taste and add more salt, pepper, or herbs, if needed. Just before you’re ready to eat, place one-quarter of the egg salad on each slice of bread.
Amy: I’m with you, friend. The school year is wrapping up and I’m busy with a million things and my boyfriend is leaving for an extended trip and the apartment is messy and worst of all, it’s freaking RAINING IN MAY IN CALIFORNIA and all I want to do is curl into bed with coffee that refills itself. Hrmph.
But…when I feel this way, I set a deadline. For example, today is my boyfriend’s birthday, so we will go out for steak and dessert and enjoy it. But tomorrow night will bring a trip to the gym, a mid-week deep cleaning and a run to the store and a general getting my shit together day at work.
This egg salad sounds amazing.1 year ago
Erin: All of my creative activities are the first to go if I’m overwhelmed…blogging, crafting, sewing. By that measure, I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed lately too. The other thing that suffers (regularly) is making lunches for work so I don’t have to eat out. I try to go easy on myself though (though I agree that it’s easy to offer this kindness to others), and I make sure I choose healthy options that will help me feel back on track sooner than later.1 year ago
Julia: Hi Sarah, I haven’t commented for a long time, mostly because of spread thinness, but this piece really struck a chord. I am feeling spread thin at present, and my husband is a repeat offender at it too so consequently the house is a mess and there is no food in the fridge. When he eventually gets home from work this evening dinner will be chips(the french fry kind) from a burger van, then it’s straight back home to do ‘our’ work in our little attic room (for him, graphic design/running an online magazine, for me, sewing hair accessories) then a few hours sleep before getting up and going to what we call ‘work work’, or our day jobs.
1 year ago
So the answer to what goes first is the same as many people: housework, cooking, sleep.
I cope when things are like this by *trying* not to berate myself for things I’m not doing, remembering why I have taken on so much, and remembering that it’s normal to go through busy/crazy phases where just surviving feels enough. That’s why takeouts were invented.
Back on the subject of food, I would love to eat that sandwich. If only I could get my husband to like eggs, that would be tonight’s dinner for sure
Designing Diva: Whenever I feel too overloaded by life in general, I make sure to take some time for myself – and this is, of course, easier said than done. Even if it means saying “no, sorry” to an outing with friends, I have finally realized that if I don’t make myself and my general well-being a priority, well, then, who will? I tend to overload myself and just feel the need to step back and relinquish some tasks/responsibilities to the back burner sometimes. In the long run, it does me good and I usually feel ready to tackle whatever crops up soon enough. My husband is wonderful, but I know he just doesn’t “get it” when I say that I will not be answering the phone some nights. My stance is, it’s my home, and unless I feel like talking, I owe it to nobody to answer it just because it’s ringing! That being said, I am a very social person and love getting together with friends and family and talking up a storm….but sometimes I need time to just BE STILL and regroup.1 year ago
Sarah F: I’m spread thin, too. I moved cross-country last month to be with my fiancee’s father (who is 86), got hit with a relationship crisis almost from the first minute here with my fiancee, a crisis that nearly sent me back across country, and I have been overwhelmed cleaning and caring for a house that has had little of either in the last 12 years, and none at all for the last 3. The first things to go were the little things I love so much- burning essential oils, drinking a cup of tea throughout the afternoon and evening, doing some sort of handcraft in my spare moments. Eventually, I will find my equilibrium again and these things will return, but for now, I feel a bit adrift.1 year ago
Cassandra Potier Watkins: When I am feeling spread thin, I just take care of each thing that is at hand and as it can be handled… it turns into my meditation and keeping up the energy becomes my workout. Sometimes when life is at its toughest I realize what was just fluff (not that fluff is bad).1 year ago
Tricia A: completely get this “space” you are in and just know that this too shall pass (my mom’s words of wisdom) Last night I slept for 10 hours and woke up feeling normal and able to achieve more today…..I think sleep and just saying “thank you” help……when you come out the other side you will understand this phase…..I always do. I love the “be soft with yourself” and how it correlates to soft egg salad! My blog has been so neglected lately and I feel the self-imposed guilt….however, if I told you the list of things going on in my life I think you’d give me the same words of advice! Why are we always so hard on ourselves? : )1 year ago
Ewa: I’m so sorry you are in that place now. When this strikes – I call it a streak of “running myself bad,” as it seems there’s little I can do to improve the way I feel – yoga and meditation are the first to go. Also, I either cannot go to bed (work), or don’t want to (tiredness, inability to choose health over immediate comfort).
What helps? Eating out or ordering something healthy works magic for me.1 year ago
Cadi: It’s hard these days, isn’t it? I take comfort in knowing that I’m not alone feeling this way, but I also wish that we all had more time to be who we want to be instead of constantly running after [insert item on horizon here]. Knowing in my heart that it will pass also gives me some relief but I also feel like these waves of smotherization are coming closer and closer together. Have I mentioned that being an adult is overrated?
These lovely ladies that posted before me have some great words that ring true, as I too am feeling that I’m spread thinner than I’d like to be these last few weeks. I think that BE STILL mixed with giving myself a moment to breathe has helped. Having a warm kitty that knows when to crawl in my lap and do the same helps with centering. You aren’t failing at life, sweet Sarah, even though it feels like it sometimes. Thank you for your honestly, it helps knowing that there are others out there who feel the same.
BTW, egg salad for dinner – add a glass (or three?) of bubbles and you have one of my favorite must-eat-but-can’t-get-my-life-together dinners. Another that I turn to in is your mom’s Tuna Macaroni Salad recipe – comfortable heaven!1 year ago
Julie: It’s so hard to do when feeling low and pulled in too many different directions, but I always find that this is when I most need to get something awesome on the calendar (concert tickets, drinks w/ friends, a dinner date). I am so much happier when I have lovely things to look forward to.1 year ago
Amy C: Feeling this so much right now. Wacky weather + hormones = Oy. In any case, can I be honest? The first thing I go to when I am feeling spread thin is to read a good, steamy romance novel. Preferably something with cowboys and really hot love scenes, like a Lorelei James book. They just put me in a good mood and give me energy to face life.1 year ago
Beth/SouthernBluestocking: I know this feeling. I think we all know this feeling- that whole “failing at life” thing. For me, it’s not even the to-do list that is so horrible, it’s the knowledge that someone else- (someone more organized/smarter/disciplined/generally just better) would be able to do this better. That Oprah and Martha and my mother would judge my stress and think I’m not dealing with “things” well. That I’m wasting my life-my one precious life- juggling all of these horrible chores when I should be sipping tea and writing morning pages.
About a month ago this all just overwhelmed me–too much to do, not noticing the beauty in life, all is drudgery and never-ending alarms and timers.
I think the not-so-secret is that our expectations are too high for ourselves. When life is moving swimmingly and I’ve been writing and my house is clean and I’m feeling relaxed and noticing the beautifully blooming trees… I think that should be the norm. I expect life to be balanced. But I think those gloriously calm moments exist to remind us of the light at the other end. We don’t get to live there, but we can visit.
(Wrote about this–with fewer run-on sentences–here!: http://southernbluestocking.com/2011/04/12/beautifully-unbalanced/)
Feel better!1 year ago
wendy: We are NOT failing at life. We are in the thick of it. We just have to decide to look at what we are doing and make the call that this is part of our lives. I am looking at the calander and seeing that we, as a family, have no time to ourselves for the memorial weekend. There is some sort of function each day, plus work and church. But our life doesn’t stop there. We are trully involved in each activity and task that arises, that is how you live life to the fullest.
If you are saying that you are failing at life because you have no time for your self, what is it that you need to do to make it happen? How much time to yourself do you need in a day?Week? Month?
I require less than most women. I am a naturally born early riser. I get so much done in the wee small hours that I have plenty of time for others. I do, on the other hand go to bed at a decent hour, sometimes 8:30pm. We live an hour from nightlife, so those decisions take planning. My husband plans when he wants to work in his painting studio. We all plan for certain things then we have to deal with putting out fires or the tryanny of the urgent. Some of need to learn to say no or let me think about it, before we decide to mess with our schedule. I live my life not in a hurry, as I just might miss something! I do have a cellphone, I know how to text and everything, most of the time, my phone is at home where I left it. Sometimes we need to turn back the clock and live like we used to. No phone calls before 9am or after 9pm etc…
Then again, I am older and have learned what works for me. I hope that you find the key to the pace of life you want to live before you wear yourself out.
I love egg salad! Especially served on Dill and onion beer bread. Yum, yum!
The one thing I don’t know how to do is tweet. So in answer to your question…we are having a large salad with romane lettuce, large diced tomatoes, chunks of bacon with a homemade dressing served with chedder cheese flatbread, also homemade.1 year ago
Kim: I’m going through this too – work deadlines pressing, week three of viral bronchitis, a teenager who is not doing what she should be (etc, etc). While I know that this too shall pass (brilliant, sage advice to remember!), for now I just think of the meals gone uncooked, the shower uncleaned and the friends neglected…
Being kind to yourself in such times is crucial, but much harder than being kind to others – right?!1 year ago
Katy from DiningwithDusty: I feel your pain, Sarah! I’ve been desperately trying to finish the first chapter of my dissertation, but it seems that not only will it never end, but also that all the sacrifices I’m making for a few extra hours of writing time–piles of unwashed dishes, cereal for dinner, a bushel of laundry that is just plain out of control–are beginning to take their toll on me.
I allowed myself to take a tiny break to bake some birthday cupcakes over the weekend and felt somewhat restored, but almost too tired to enjoy them. *sigh* And now it’s back to the grind.
It _is_ hard to be soft with yourself, and especially not to feel disappointed in the things that aren’t done, but it’s important to try. We’ve had years of conditioning to the contrary; it’s all about forming–and learning to live with–new habits.
In the meantime, I like to tell myself that this will only make me stronger!
52 weeks ago
Megan: I start multitasking like mad when I feel behind in life — I’ve been known to scrub the shower walls with a Mr. Clean magic eraser while I’m in it, time my work out and dinner prep to the washer/dryer times, and fold laundry while watching the Daily Show… it’s all a balance.
I also find that taking two minutes to write a letter to a friend or family member really helps calm me down. And everyone loves receiving non-bills mail, so it’s a win-win!52 weeks ago
Elizabeth: Isn’t cooking the best tonic, though? I made this egg salad on toast with my roommate last night and watched some Hulu and felt instantly better. Perfect summer meal. Thanks, Sara!52 weeks ago
Erin: I’m going to try this egg salad – Thanks for the recipe!
As many have already said – try to be easier on yourself. The stuff that seems important will get done if it really is important. Not to be flip about it but I just saw a t-shirt saying that sums it up, sort of: “Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now”. You’ll get your mojo back once the dust has settled on the new elements in your life.
52 weeks ago
Sara Rose: I get really overwhelmed when I’m spread too thin and it feels like EVERYTHING starts to slide- my house, my writing, self care, time with the family. I am a person where I do need to keep myself on some sort of schedule or I get disorganized, anxious, and go stagnant.
Thus, then enter the lists. I try to make a list of all that needs done, star or underline what is most important, what needs to just be ignored, etc. I try to bounce back by also being soft with myself- a bit of time to read and take a bath, journaling, whatever. Then I have to swallow my dumb pride and just say “I need help with this.”52 weeks ago
Sarah J: yep, failing at life sounds about right. i usually say i’m “in the weeds.” everything slides by the wayside (cleaning, cooking, gym… ). once i can catch up, i usually feel refreshed after i allow myself an afternoon (ok, day) to veg out and do nothing. after that, i can pick myself up and get back into things. i’m crossing my fingers and hoping that happens soon.52 weeks ago
Diane Carol: For me, when feeling overwhelmed, I usually find that if I can find some “control” over something (one of the many things I’m failing at…housework, cleaning closets, an article that must be written, etc.), I “attack” one thing. Once I do, I feel infintely better! I’m also a list maker – it helps me to prioritize and see that things aren’t as overwhelming when I actually take a minute to write it all down. Then, when I accomplish something – the thrill of crossing it off my list, plus the feeling I get when I look at my (for example) sparkly clean kitchen…..way too good for words! (Makes me smile right now thinking of an accomplishment!).51 weeks ago
Natalie: Too many to dos and too few resources seems to be the theme of my life lately, and it seems I’m not the only one. After working overtime to exhaustion last week, everything else was neglected, myself included. I’ve skipped the gym all week to catch up on sleep, and now I’m beating myself up mentally for that. I wonder why we do this.
I had to get myself back on track the way so many others suggested: cleaning my space at work, list making, dinner out with the BF. I decided to put that OT money to use with something that would make me happy, so today I came home from work to a house sparking clean courtesy of a friend who needed some extra cash. And after dinner I bought some new running shorts to wear to the gym tomorrow.
Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that all of this spreading thin has to have its rewards, too.51 weeks ago
jackie: I think we all get this feeling from time to time. I know I am guilty of worrying too much about my to-do lists instead of being present in every single moment. I get these daily quotes in my inbox and this is one of my very favorites: “Just do your best to keep yourself in balance. One of the first things that causes Energy misalignment, is asking or demanding too much of yourself in terms of time and effort. In other words, you just cannot burn the candle at both ends, so that you are physically tired, and then expect yourself to have a cheerful attitude. So, the rule of thumb has to be: “I’m going to be very, very, very happy, and then do everything I have time to do after that.” “51 weeks ago
Cindy J.: When I am feeling spread thin I remind myself that many of the things that make me feel this way from time to time, are the very things that bring the most meaning to my life. Doing anything significant in life requires a commitment, and making a commitment to something outside yourself, means that sometimes you will feel that you do not have enough time for yourself. So I do “wait for the storm to ease up,” wait for a time when I can give more thought to what brings me joy, and I always feel that my life is richer for that waiting.
51 weeks ago
But I will not wait to try this egg salad recipe
Arwen: Just found your blog. It made me happy to read. I love your voice. Thanks for sharing like this.
Seek joy, y’all.51 weeks ago
pattyskypants: Spread thin food for us is egg sandwiches on toasted rye. YUM! After 40 years of being spread thin, I can tell you house work is the first to go; creative work is the last to go. Eat and drink well, comfort yourself and then your dependents, and give names to the dust balls that inhabit the under-bed and corner spaces. Open the doors often and sometimes you find they leave on their own. xxoo51 weeks ago
helen c: I’m typing this comment whilst on my Blackberry, feeding my four month old daughter on my bed surrounded by washing to be put away. The window is open, light and airy, but my this room is a mess! Like every other room!! Trying to juggle work, house + baby is impossible and I have to be constantly reminded I cannot do it all myself. The kitchen is worse than any student house I’ve lived in and the dining room just looks like a baby car park, pram + car seats etc. In fact earlier I did just give up, handed baby to husband, have a bath + glass of wine and just BREATHE…I feel a lot better now. The washing can wait…51 weeks ago
Susana Benz: Oh my goodness, this post warmed my heart because I am going through it now! Two months ago I would have said, go to yoga, drink tea, smell the roses! After giving birth to my beautiful and highly spirited little Daisy, just going to the bathroom by myself is a major accomplishment! I waited a long time to have a child and spent years dedicated to self care, so I am really missing it now! Nomatter how busy I was I always had a little extra for moi, not so anymore! So i don’t know what the answer is, maybe try to squeeze in one thing per day that makes you feel good, and lowering expectations about what we can accomplish . Wishing you peace51 weeks ago