Happy Hour at Home: Old-Fashioneds…And The Appetizer That Wasn’t
I had it all planned out perfectly — Lisa was coming over for a cocktail and I knew the pepper jelly she gave me at Christmas would go magically with some of Martha’s famed cheese coins. It would be one of those rare moments when all the elements come together and you have a brief turn as an exceedingly gracious hostess, shining the spotlight not only on your delicious nibbles and refreshment, but on your guest’s contribution that makes it complete. That was the idea anyway.
What happened in reality was that the so-called cheddar coins were more like…crumbly lattice wafers. The flavor was wonderful, but what good is it if you have to scrape up bits off the cookie sheet and serve them off a spatula? Not the elegant Mad Men cocktail hour I was hoping for.
Have you ever had a recipe utterly and totally fail? This hasn’t happened to me in awhile, and the devastation was crushing, not only for the occasion at hand (I was two steps away from cracking open a can of salted peanuts), but for the sheer waste. Two sticks of butter and a cup of New York sharp cheddar cheese, come to nothing. I followed the direction precisely, so what gives?
The drinks, though — the drinks did their bit. Since my friend Laureen mixed up an old-fashioned at our book club reading of 50’s novel, The Best of Everything, this has been my cocktail of choice. It’s strong and appropriately boozey (it’s Don Draper’s drink of choice, after all), but ever-so-slightly sweet. And it would have been really perfect with some spicy, cheesy nibbles. But, so it goes…
Old-Fashioned
from Esquire
Serves 1
Place the sugar in a short glass. Wet it down with 2 or 3 dashes of Angostura bitters and a short splash of water or club soda. Crush the sugar with a wooden muddler, chopstick, strong spoon, lipstick, cartridge case, whatever. Rotate the glass so that the sugar grains and bitters give it a lining. Add a large ice cube. Pour in the rye. Serve with a stirring rod or an umbrella, if you’re so lucky.
Alicia Kachmar: I LOVE LOVE LOVE Martha Stewart, don’t get me wrong, but I’d say that at least 50% of the time I follow her recipes (to the letter!), they don’t work out so well. Same with craft instructions sometimes. Often the times are wrong, ingredient proportions, final ____ count, etc.
I too am devastated by failed recipes, whether it’s my fault or not. I once made a pie and forgot the sugar, and on the same day, overbaked my lasagna. I CRIED. And that’s probably when a drink came to the rescue…30 weeks ago
Kristina: Oh, that’s so sad! I had a similar experience when I tried baking fricos once– those lacy cheese wafers that stick to the cookie sheet like no one’s business–the first time I made dinner for my future in-laws. Fortunately, they’re now my present in-laws, so all was forgiven. Drinks to the rescue!30 weeks ago
Alicia, It’s funny you should say that about her recipes because Lisa said the same thing. Maybe I’ve just been extraordinarily lucky thus far, but yeah, this one was a total bummer. I didn’t cry, but I did get a little drunk.
Kristina, It sounds like I accidentally made fricos instead of cheese coins!30 weeks ago
Lisa (dinner party): Um, didn’t you see me scarfing all of the stray cheese wafer bits directly off of the cookie sheet? Pretty things are nice (like that darling drink umbrella) but taste is all that is really important in my book. And those cheesy things tasted goood.30 weeks ago
Meghan: oh! i’ve had a bad experience with a different cheese coin recipe. i think it contained flour, so mine ended up very bland tasting, and i used them as dog biscuits instead.
maybe lining the baking sheet with parchment paper would help, if you’re brave enough to try again?30 weeks ago
michaela: its awful when you feel like you’ve wasted good food and your time!
we’ve been making old fashioneds and side cars lately as well. for our wedding in november we had a cocktail party with a fabulous bartender who really inspired us!30 weeks ago
Lisa, Yes, I did see you scarfing away, and it made me very happy. It reminded me that you are a woman with zero pretensions, which is obviously something I love.
Meghan, Parchment is a good idea, especially because I have leftover dough. I’ll need to give it another whirl just to get rid of all of it.
Michaela, Mmm, yum! I saw a bartender caramelizing sugar inside a glass recently and felt very inspired myself! If not to light a glass on fire, than at least to make a drink or two.30 weeks ago
Suzy: One word: Buche de Noel. (Okay, three words.) It was Christmas Eve, my in-laws were on there way over and it failed spectacularly! Not one to be outdone by a jelly roll, I simply started over and made second one from scratch…Which failed with equal gusto. On Christmas Eve. With my in-laws waiting. Fun times. The kicker? It was a… Martha Stewart recipe!
As for your cheese thingys, try the Best of Bridge recipe for Cocktail Crisps. No jalapeno, but yummy and no-fail (as long as you don’t double the recipe). Everyone loves them. I’ll email you the recipe if you can’t find it.30 weeks ago
michaela: wow, caramelizing sugar in the glass! extraordinary, yet to challenging for my glass-breaking self.
30 weeks ago
michaela: too not to.30 weeks ago
Lara: This past weekend I was making lasagna for the first time and was SO excited about the roasted veggies in it and the cheese, artichoke hearts, and beans. The beans were what got me. The recipe called for canned beans and I thought canned beans were just soaked bag beans…my boyfriend had to inform me that canned beans are in fact cooked. I had to throw the whole thing away
30 weeks ago
Suzanne F.: We’ve all had something like this happen at least once. I was baking chicken wings for a football party, running late getting myself ready & asked my husband to please go down & turn off the oven…completely forgetting that my 100 year old cast iron & chrome Glenwood oven holds the heat really, really well. I should have asked him to take them out, too. My friends still kid me about the ‘dried-chicken wings’!! They looked fantastic, but disappeared into powder when you bit in to them. What makes it worse is that I’m a test cook…hahahaaaa!!!30 weeks ago
Jules @ Lovely Las Vegas: The cocktail sounds very nice. Love the twinge of sweetness…30 weeks ago
Parsina Kurth: Hi Sarah,
I’m a junior in college, and I have been reading your blog since I read about it in Jane magazine–it must be a couple years now! Yours is my go-to website whenever I feel down or worried or any other not so nice feeling, and I am always so comforted and entertained by the coziness and homey feeling of POP, not to mention classy!:) I decided it was time to finally write a comment…I love your blog!!30 weeks ago
MaryLeigh Bishop: Is it paranoid to think that Martha wants us to mess up her recipes and never be as good as she at the art of entertaining?
You need to make southern cheese straws.
Ingredients:
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 cups self-rising flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cup 1/2 lb shredded sharp Cheddar, at room temperature
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, at room temperature
Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Sift together the flour, cayenne, and salt and set aside. Using an electric mixer, cream together the butter and cheese until blended. Add the flour mixture slowly, beating at low speed, then continue to beat for 5 minutes, until very creamy, scraping down the sides of the bowl several times.
Using a cookie press with a star tip, make 3-inch-long cheese straws, leaving at least 1/2 inch between each on an ungreased cookie sheet.
Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove to racks to cool30 weeks ago
Suzy, I’m so intrigued by the Best of Bridge! I’ll have to a search for that. And have I ever mentioned that I have desperately wanted to learn to play bridge for the longest time?
michaela, I seem to break every third item I touch in our kitchen, so I hear you. I’ll stick to the three ingredient cocktails.
Lara, Oh no! This story truly broke my heart. But at least now you’ll never confuse canned beans for soaked again!
Suzanne, Why is it that it always seems to come down between choosing to put on eyeliner and a dab of lipstick and serving good food? I have so had this exact dilemma while entertaining.
Jules, I made another one last night. I could see this turning into a nightly ritual…
Parsina, I can’t tell you how flattered I feel by your comment. I don’t know if this makes sense, exactly, but this is the place where I feel like I can come when I feel blue or defeated, too. That might seem strange since it’s my blog, but there’s just something about this place that seems to be a real pick-me-up for a lot of us, and I’m really happy to play a part in that. Thank you for reading and finally commenting!
MaryLeigh, Cheese straws I can totally do. Thanks so much for the recipe.30 weeks ago
Wendy: A long time ago, very long in fact, I made a cake. It was one of those with pudding in the middle, in a bundt pan. Company was due. The timer went off! Yah! I could plate the cake and rush to dress, no biggie. Took the pan off the cake and it splooshed out all over the plate, counter,cabinet door, floor, my shoes! It takes awhile for the pudding to set, you see. That is why any printed word for instructions have been changed to Destructions. At least you got to scrape the pan and eat the bits! I had to scrape the floor and come up with a new dessert. Ice cream and ammeretto to the rescue!30 weeks ago
Laureen: Old-Fashioneds have been my drink of choice since! Come to think of it, I could use one right about now….30 weeks ago
Wendy, Ugh. Just ugh. No cake AND a cleaning disaster? That’s the ultimate in bad.
Laureen, Girl, I hear you. It’s 5 o’clock somewhere…30 weeks ago
kat: I tried to make gnocchi. I ended up with dumplings/matzo balls. Sigh. Luckily tasty, but definitely not gnocchi.29 weeks ago
Alicia Kachmar: I want Martha to hire me as her recipe “fact-checker” and tester…Martha, I’m yours!29 weeks ago
Christine H.: I’ve been meaning to try Don Draper’s drink of choice, but I’m not a whiskey type of gal. Maybe this will win me over? Or perhaps I’m drinking the wrong whiskey…hmmm.
I can handle a recipe not turning out well or exactly as planned, but when it’s a complete disaster & I’ve positively wasted those ingredients….that is feeling of defeat that is hard to shake off. I remember one year, I couldn’t make a batch of English toffee to save my life (the same candy that I sold boxes & boxes of to pay my way to Costa Rica in HS). For whatever reason, time after time it would either separate or burn and be completely inedible: 1 pound of butter, 1 pound of sugar & 1/2 cup of walnuts down the drain. I think I gave up around the 3rd try. My dad was disappointed he had to go without, but I made it up to him the next year & made him his own special batch. Now I only make toffee in my “special” pot with my “special” spoon & it turns out every time.29 weeks ago
www.geekxnerd.com: Oh, I have more kitchen FAILs than I care to remember. The first one that comes to mind was when I tried to make a giant iron skillet potato leek pancake. I grated the potatoes, squeezed all of the water out of them with a dish towel (a difficult and disgusting task, the earthy potato water permanently stained one of my dish cloths), grated like 1/2 pound of Gruyere…then I had to cook the darn thing, and flip it out of the pan to cook the other side. Well…when I went to flip the whole damn thing had burnt to the bottom of the pan. So I was left with a half burnt half raw potato debacle. Terrible!28 weeks ago