Filled with Resolve
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Resolutions are tricky business. On the one hand, who among us is not invigorated by a fresh start and the potential for improvement and change? On the other, some of us are known to bite off more than we can chew, to take on more than we can reasonably manage, and in two weeks time have thrown our hands in the air, falling back into the same old habits we had hoped to shake.
One admirable friend I have combats this tendency by reassessing her goals monthly rather than annually. Before each fresh 30 day segment and flip of the calendar, she pinpoints her resolutions for the month. This approach takes the pressure off the Big Annual Plan to Be Perfect and increases chances for actually changing your behavior by continually reassessing what you want, and how you’re getting there.
There is so much pressure in our culture to improve oneself, though, that it has me wondering if resolutions focus on the wrong end of things. Jora of Domestic Reflections once started listing her “Did Dos” rather than “To Dos.” The shift changed her perspective and left me, frankly, speechless at a mother’s load. For the over-perfecters and over-doers among us, this, coupled with a resolution to “let Jesus take the wheel” (another friend’s resolution) might be just we need to stop controlling every impulse to design our lives into perfection and, instead, just let them be.
In that same spirit, perhaps as we set forth on what we hope to accomplish in the new year, we should also acknowledge what came before and how much we’ve already done. My example? I want to keep running in the new year and have a wee little goal to run a race. But I also find myself, at this moment, running stronger and longer than I have in years. And that’s gotta be worth something.
So go ahead, tell us what you want to accomplish in the new year. But remember to also share all the new skills, knowledge, and experience you accumulated in the one that just passed. Don’t you already feel so accomplished?
krista - urbanite jewelry: I’ve decided this year to create a ‘word of the year’ rather than resolutions. My word this year will be ‘yes’ (the year of yes!), because I feel that I need to add more positivity into my life and open myself up to the world more.
Choosing a word allows you to set the tone for the year and sort of gives you a theme. Personally, I feel that ‘yes’ is very versatile for me because I can infuse yes into a lot of different aspects of my life: i.e. saying yes to taking risks, saying yes to building relationships, saying yes to eating healthier. It’s a way to welcome positive things and changes into my life without setting a ‘resolution’ per say. I started journaling what I can say yes to every morning so that I’m focusing and centered upon it every day!
Great resources on choosing your word of the year at Michelle Ward’s website When I Grow Up (http://tinyurl.com/yer2s2g) and there’s also a worksheet on how to choose your word of the year at Christine Kane’s blog: http://christinekane.com/blog/free-download-word-of-the-year-discovery-tool/.
Carly: I’m repeating last years resolution– say yes more often. I was falling in to a pattern of declining things for being too tired, for being too cold outside, trying to save money, etc, so I said yes to, oh, 90% of invitations I received. And because of that, some of my best memories of 2009 are things I wouldn’t have expected myself to do–spontaneous trips, events that I had to sneak out of work early to do, conversations with people, etc.2 years ago
Katharine: My main goal for this year is to work on the focus of my new blog, which will also help with what’s most important – concentrating on staying healthy!2 years ago
Sarah Jane: This year I want to be the leading lady of my own life.2 years ago
Anne: I am stealing a friend’s resolution to “make my body sing.” This could be going to yoga. Or not. Eating chocolate. Or roasted veggies. Saying yes. Or saying no and reading at home, alone on the couch. It just might be the perfect resolution…2 years ago
Jesse Lu: I’m listening to the audiobook The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin… and I guess that would be my resolution if I were to make one, to be happier this year. I’m already pretty darn happy, but nevertheless, a little *more* happiness never hurt anyone… I’m also banking on the assumption that my own overflowing happiness will rub off on others…
2 years ago
Michelle: I set the same goals every year and I never, ever reach any one of them. Time to move on! Time to be honest with myself about who I really am and what I’m really willing to devote my time and energy to. If I truly wanted all of those things on my resolutions list, wouldn’t I have found a way to make them happen already? Maybe I’ve been trying to tell myself something all along. This year I’m going to put my energies into the things I already do, and the things that I already enjoy, and I’m going to do them better and enjoy them more. I’m letting the rest go for now. We’ll see what happens….2 years ago
Evon T.: I too found a long time ago that New Year’s resolutions simply don’t work for me. I start out doing fine, but then it gets tiring not trying to impress others, but myself instead. Inevitably, those true colors would begin to resurface after just a few short weeks. So… I’ve been making efforts to change myself for the better daily in some areas, monthly in others. I have to say that it seems to yield so much more in my life. I’m more aware, optimistic, mature, determined, empowered, and I’m thankful for everyday that I awake because it’s a new opportunity to change myself for the better.
This year, one of my big priorities -along with gaining better health and money- is to begin meditating. I bought this book as a Christmas gift for my beau (who stays stressed these days) and ordered one for myself. It’s called “Eight Minute Meditation” and the reviews are great. I can’t wait to dive right in and get on the road to a more focused, less stressed me. That in itself will have no choice but to create a better year for myself.2 years ago
Christine S.: I have set monthly goals…January’s being to get more movement in my life and to detox from the junk by weening myself on fallbacks that actually undermine my health goals.
The movement part, though, is something I’m giving myself so wiggle room in doing. I’m counting every form of movement…standing and walking around my classroom all class period (have a tendency to sit down once the kids are working), jamming with my kids on Rock Band, scrubbing by hand/kneading by hand/mixing by hand instead of using a machine, even the silly dancing in the car to “Stayin’ Alive” I did with my daughter and to “Turn the Beat Around” with my son yesterday evening!
Credit where credit is due is my new mantra! And, movement that I can feel good about crediting to myself will inspire me to do more of it!
This is just an example of one month, though…I’ve planned out a few more to begin achieving in February…taking it a month at a time and checking off my accomplisments along the way…next month begins something I’ve been putting off – the required credits I need to gain permanent certification…if all goes well, I’ll be done by mid-summer! That will lift a load off my shoulders!
All of this will have a cumulative effect which I think is so much better than making lists of resolution that I, as it seems many agree with, will never stick to.2 years ago
Carrie: My goal for this year is to try and remain positive in all aspects of my life. 2009 ended on some pretty sour notes for me, but I believe I am a stronger woman for having gone through them. I want 2010 to be a year where I bring myself to the life that I want to live and live it fully, positively and happily.2 years ago
Jenn: To be strong, to make smart choices, to laugh as much as possible, and to finally hang artwork on my office walls.2 years ago
rhonda35: I have to say that I am already a very positive person – perhaps too positive! My goal for the year sounds negative, but truly will have a positive influence on so many aspects of my life: my goal is to make 2010 the “Year of Saying NO!” I always say yes – to charity events, running errands for others, biting off more than I can chew, etc. So, this year, unless I really feel strongly about it or feel that the task is attainable, I intend to say “NO!” whenever asked for a donation of time or miney.2 years ago