Coming Back Home Again
Well. Ahem. I wish there were a microphone I could tap awkwardly.
Are you still out there?
I thought what I wanted to say would somehow just pour right on out of me as soon as I sat down at a keyboard. I thought I would write about the casserole I made last night. But after such a long absence and such a big life moment as getting married, casserole seems more than a little underwhelming. But what do you say after you’ve had the time of you life and you come back to a familiar home in the neighborhood you only recently left and everything is the same yet mysteriously and fundamentally different?
Let me give you a visual: I am sitting in my same old uncomfortable Danish modern chair. I’ve got coffee to my right and the sun is coming through the windows in its diffuse fall way. From the looks of it, everything is the same as it was two weeks ago, but taking the temperature of this living room, it’s all different. The woman sitting in it, for one, is relaxed and filled with enough quiet vibrancy to be a figure in a Matisse painting. The frenzied last minute dash, the stress, the worry — it’s all gone. In its place is a drill that has tapped the source that flows under the surface of the everyday, pumping up to the surface contentment, ease, beauty, and love.
Do you feel you learn things about yourself on vacation? I do. I learned that a pre-dinner bath with a book is sometimes all the time alone I need; that tuning out the mind chatter of the distant future and focusing on what’s within my control in the now cuts way down on anxiety; that my hunger for homemade chips and pico de gallo is bottomless.
And what does one learn at a wedding? That there is no reason to feel lonely in life when you are so blessed with family and friends — but that you have to reach out and and be present for them the way they were for you as you walked down a grassy aisle, flanked by your parents, holding a bouquet of roses and dahlias tied with a pale blue ribbon in the waning light of an October evening. That you should always, always dance when given the opportunity, and that not even an elegant dress should deter you from eating the best fried chicken when it arrives at 1AM. And that, as your wise friend said, it takes bravery to love, and that you are resolved to be as brave as a scout facing an unknown landscape, if that’s what it takes.
Laura: Congratulations!
An absolutely gorgeous post!
All the best for this new chapter…43 weeks ago
kristin: Sarah, Many many blessings and much congratulations!!! I am soooo happy for you and I hope and pray for you that you have a long love filled life with your husband and that your journey together is blessed. Enjoy this moment in time.43 weeks ago
Becca: Best wishes! I have missed your posts the past 2 weeks!43 weeks ago
Traci: Congratulations and best wishes for a lifetime of sweet days together!43 weeks ago
MrsB: raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Mahoosive congratulations to you, Madame Sarah!! You look gorgeous! Live, Love and Laugh! enjiy life with your best friend!
MrsB x43 weeks ago
Jen: I’m delurking to say “Congratulations!” I’ve been checking over here far too frequently since November started. Enjoy the new feelings and best wishes to you both.43 weeks ago
sonya: welcome back!
wishing you sweet felicitations.43 weeks ago
Aww, thanks for all the well-wishing, ladies! Now if I could just get back into the cooking groove!43 weeks ago
Miranda M.: What an elegant post. I almost feel like printing it out and saving it for myself and my friends when that time comes.
Your thoughts are authentic materials behind a marriage, not just the materials of a wedding. Cheers!43 weeks ago
Danielle: Congratulations and welcome back. As much as I love your page, I must admit I was growing a wee bit weary of opening it every day to see the same farewell for now blog.
Marriage is a wonderful journey and I hope you enjoy forging the path with your husband!43 weeks ago
Stacy: Congratulations! I’m getting married in April, and it was lovely to read your post. I’ve often wondered what it will be like after it’s all over — how I would feel at the sudden end of months of planning. I’ve suspected that I will feel a deep contentment and satisfaction. I’m glad to see that that is indeed the place where you are resting.
43 weeks ago
Sara Rose: After all our emails and conversations on marriage and weddings, I am so happy your day was nothing short of magical and that the start of your marriage is filled with content. These are the salad days darling, love them and live them fully.43 weeks ago
Pomona: Congratulations - I hope you have many happy years together. My wedding day was the best day of my life - it was 22 years ago now, and I still haven’t changed my opinion!
Pomona x43 weeks ago
Karen: Congratulations and welcome back. What a lovely post!
Marriage is a wonderful meandering journey. Enjoy every minute!43 weeks ago
Maria: A very timeless post to go with what looked like a timeless wedding.
I hope you’re both settling in to this life together - the same, but different - and that you might share some details of the day when the time is right.43 weeks ago
Kristina: Congratulations! Can’t wait to see more photos.43 weeks ago
academicsocialite: Congratulations and best wishes for your future together. And welcome back - I found I really missed your posts! Looking forward to meeting you off-line this weekend.43 weeks ago
alliemarien: you look goregous! congratulations!43 weeks ago
Emily: So, so happy for you! Your blog has brought me so many little doses of happiness, it’s wonderful to read about a really big dose for you!
In celebration, I’m cooking one of your recipes tonight!43 weeks ago
Alyson: Welcome Home Missus! You were missed. Don’t rush into the cooking thing, just repose in the glow cos you won’t get this day again.43 weeks ago
Julie: Oh, this was so lovely to read. I’m getting married in July, and I hope it feels every bit as wonderful as this when all is said and done.
I love what you say about reaching out and being present for family and friends the way they are for you. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately.43 weeks ago
Jamie Lee: Congratulations and welcome back. I’m getting married next October and I find it rare that someone actually says something thoughtful rather than canned about marriage. I can’t wait to see more pictures!43 weeks ago
domestikate: Oh Sarah, I’m so happy for you! And it’s lovely to have you back!43 weeks ago
Erin: Congratulations and Much Happiness! Your wedding sounds like it was enchanting. Kudos for holding down a job, getting ready for it AND blogging!43 weeks ago
Alison: Um, I just cried AGAIN reading this post!43 weeks ago
Cordelia: Eeee! I literally squealed when this post came up–partly because it means your back but also because you look utterly gorgeous (as does the man)!! Congratulations to you both!43 weeks ago
Evon T.: Happy living and loving for you both, Sarah. It’s true that love does take bravery, and it’s wonderful when we resolve to lie down and become vulnerable to the one that we’re with. I’m not sure that life is worth living if you can’t at some point proudly wear your heart on your sleeve. For me, there’s no feeling like it. Your photos are great, and you and he shine brightly. Now all you have to do is write a mini-book on how to pull off a lovely wedding without pulling out your hair or your 401k. XOXO.43 weeks ago
Ruth @ GraceLaced: Blessings to you both! Welcome home.43 weeks ago
Avril: Welcome back! Congratulations! Love & blessings!43 weeks ago
shauna: Dabbing at my eyes with a tissue like an old lady at a wedding
You have such a beautifully poignant way of writing without ever dipping into schmaltz… wow… congratulations again!43 weeks ago
shauna: Dabbing at my eyes with a tissue like an old lady at a wedding
You have such a beautifully poignant way of writing without ever dipping into schmaltz… wow… congratulations again!
BTW I love your blog!43 weeks ago
Ann: Wonderful - love to you both, Ann43 weeks ago
geek+nerd: Oh I just got so teary. I’m so happy that it was wonderful! Congratulations! Glad that you are back!43 weeks ago
emily: Welcome back, congratulations, and what a beautifully written post!43 weeks ago
Wendy: What a truly wonderful begining! Welcome home Sara!43 weeks ago
Gail: Sarah - You were …and are….a beautiful bride…..and I wish you and your handsome husband a lifetime of happiness together! Congratulations and welcome back!
I am having a difficult time finding words to compliment you on how your use of words captures so, so much about your feelings as a bride and now as a newly married woman…..Your talent as a writer continues to impress me. “Dog food” no more!
Hugs!43 weeks ago
Sara G.: Sarah,
Bill and I truly wish that we had been able to be there with you to celebrate your incredible love. You look absolutely beautiful — your new husband is a very lucky man! We wish you both a lifetime of happiness. But then again, knowing you both and knowing how much you love each other, that’s a certainty!43 weeks ago
WannaBePinkTeri: Congratulations! Your post was beautiful, I imagine it only shadows in comparison of your actual day. Wishing you many many happy years….43 weeks ago
Su-Lin: How gorgeous you look! Congratulations!43 weeks ago
Lisa (dinner party): Tears over here too. Can’t wait to hear all about it! xoxo43 weeks ago
Shandell's: Wishing you a life of pure bliss.
You will get back to cooking, I am in the take out mode myself.43 weeks ago
Erin: Congratulations, Mrs.! I hope it was everything that you and your Mr. wished for, and that all your hard work and planning paid off, and I hope that your holiday was relaxing. I must say, though, It’s nice to see fresh PoP posts in my Google Reader.
43 weeks ago
Rebecca: Congratulations Sarah!! I’m so, so glad to hear how contented and happy you are, and the photos are lovely. Hooray, and all the absolute best to you and Sebastian!
43 weeks ago
lukelover: what a beautiful and profound narrative. you know, if your recipe for happiness relies on those three things: your man, chips, and pico de gallo, you all but guarantee yourself a lifetime of marital happiness. how awesome is that?43 weeks ago
BECKY: Congrats!!! The Mexico pics on Facebook are beautiful. I want that salsa platter! What all-inclusive did you stay at? I was at the Iberostar Tucan last time I went and loved it!43 weeks ago
Talia: Welcome back and best wishes to you and your Mr. What lovely photos you’ve shared and the post is charming.
A lifetime of happiness to you!43 weeks ago
K: I just got married in September, so I can totally relate to the calm, relieved, happy feeling that you described.
Your post brought tears to my eyes; congratulations to you both!43 weeks ago
Anita: Welcome home and Congrats! Look forward to new post!42 weeks ago
Suellen: Congratulations! I missed your posts!42 weeks ago
Megan: mazel tov and welcome back!42 weeks ago
Kelly: Congrats Sarah! I got married in the end of September, and I too noticed the small subtleties of marriage. It seems like nothing changes at first, but everything changes just in a more familiar way. Good Luck and have fun!42 weeks ago
Charone: You look so beautiful!42 weeks ago
Lauren Clare: Hi Sarah. Congratulations! I love your pictures and glad you are back. I will be ‘joining the club’ at the end of this month! Hooray for fall weddings :oD42 weeks ago
Mary: Congratulations! I just got married, too, on October 24.
I, too, feel very relaxed and happy!
My photog just posted a few pics:
http://www.studio563.com/chip/
Best wishes!41 weeks ago
Jen: This is way too late, but I just got to this post today, so Congratulations! Marriage is a blessing and sharing your life with someone special till “death do us part” is simply priceless. Congrats again!25 weeks ago