Taking a Mental Health Day
print of original watercolor by vivstrauss
I knew a girl in high school who had a ration of two parent-sanctioned “mental health days” per semester. Most people I knew at least had to feign a stomachache to get out of Comparative World Studies, but this girl had the complete compliance of her parents. In fact, sometimes she and her mom made a special mother-daughter day out of the hooky. One morning by our lockers she told me they had gone shopping and out for lunch. I was dumbfounded, and jaw-droppingly jealous. She wasn’t missing much — just a day of teenage angst, high school melodrama, and an algebra lesson she’d probably need to come after school to get — but this ducking out of expected routine seemed deeply rebellious and even a tad glamorous to me.
In college and as an adult, I have known to step out of the daily flow. It’s never anything as planned as lunch and shopping, and is usually motivated by ennui and exhaustion more than joie de vivre. The day will be spent mostly in bed, mostly in a nightgown, watching streaming videos on Netflix, and possibly ordering Chinese food.
Now that I work from home, I find I need these escapes less than usual, though sometimes the exhaustion and stress of life will catch right up to me. This is, in fact, what happened yesterday. I couldn’t bear to look at another email or contemplate one more wedding playlist; I couldn’t even figure out what to write here, my most favorite place to be. So I slept the day away, mostly, made more mulligatawny, watched Little Women, and did some embroidering. I tried to push away whatever seemed to be weighing me down and then, when I was thoroughly nested, I put on a sweatshirt and went to the gym. It is not rocket science, and it is not in line with my usual preference for the cozy life, but I find the best cure on a mental health day is a shot of endorphins. And it worked like a charm: after my virtual ride on a spin bike, I felt relaxed, happy, and sorry that — for even a moment — I had given in to that dark, existential undertow.
What do your mental health days look like? Are they planned or free-form? Do you go out in the world for museums and shopping or do you stay cocooned in bed?
Danielle: When I need an escape I do just as you have - bed with my nightgown on watching some schmoopy movie on streaming Netflix (heaven forbid anyone discover my secret love for chick flicks!). Once I’ve had enough of my pity party I get up and clean like a mad woman until it’s time to make dinner for the family. Nothing presses my “reset” button like a fresh, dustless house and floors I can walk sockless on without ending up with feet covered in dirt and dust!46 weeks ago
Jessica: How funny: I had parent-enforced mental health days in high school! By senior year I was so type A about always going to school and such a perfectionist that my mom made me take the occasional mental health day to relax. She is a wise woman
And it worked: now I’m much more inclined to take needed me-time. ps I’m so looking forward to book club!46 weeks ago
Sara Rose: Yeah, I need a mental health day a week, it seems. It really depends on what my soul needs that day. sometimes I need to go out for coffee and the world. Sometimes I need to stare at my tv until my brain implodes. Othertimes I need my house clean and still. I don’t think it really matters what one does for a mental health day so long as it refreshes them, makes them happier, and gets them back into the stream of things.46 weeks ago
Lara: I had mental health days in middle and high school where my dad would take me to run errands with him. And now, my mental health days still consist of running errands. It is so nice and relaxing to me to only run around town, doing things I’ve been putting off for weeks because something else took precedent (Latin translation anyone?) When I get home and all that stuff is accomplished, I take some deep breaths, make tea to drink while I make dinner, then curl up with a book.46 weeks ago
Nishta: I’m with you.
Yesterday, feeling beaten up and exhausted (we just lost our old dog on Friday), a small part of me wanted to cancel my plans and give into the urge to sweatpants-and-couch-it all night. Instead, I went to the event I had RSVPed for–the re-opening of the 20th century gallery at the Menil Collection here in Houston.
When I stood inside the Rothko room, I knew there was no better therapy than being out in the world, among beautiful things & meeting new people. And for good measure, I stopped at The Chocolate Bar, which makes the most amazing fair-trade, homemade ice cream…for cool de menthe!
Last but not least, I find that reaching out for & accepting support from people in my life makes so much of a difference. I used to be to stubborn to do it, but I said “yes” when friends asked if they could bring us dinner, “yes” when a co-worker offered to take something off of my hands, “yes” to my best guy friend who is taking me out on a date Friday night.46 weeks ago
Melissa: Ahh, mental health days are probably the biggest necessity in my life. But I find that on those days away from work and school- those days meant for relaxing, I find myself starting all type of projects throughout the house. Either way, it’s calming and soothing and all of those good things.46 weeks ago
Amy C: Am taking one today. I have a soft pink blanket wrapped around me, snuggling with my 90-pound “lap” dog. I have a frozen chocolate-covered banana from trader joe’s waiting for me in the freezer, and a hot bath, most definitely.46 weeks ago
Christine S.: A mental health day would be nice; however, being a teacher, I feel guilty taking them. With only so many days to interact with students, taking a day off that is warranted by a personal/child illness or medical appointment is next to unlikely to happen. However, during my breaks, I make sure to have MANY mental health days doing many of the things already mentioned by previous posts. My most favorite activity, though, is to make tea and watch daytime talk shows - never can do that during the regular school year!46 weeks ago
Christine S.: and that should say “is NOT warranted…” (anal English teacher, sorry:)46 weeks ago
Lisa (dinner party): Good for you for taking a time out. I need one of those days right about now! I would: read magazines in bed wearing fluffy socks, nap, paint nails, watch three or four hours of VH1 top-whatever countdowns, nap, and try to get to the gym for a much-needed endorphin boost. Or maybe just nap.46 weeks ago
B: You were describing my perfect mental health day… up to the point when you mentioned the gym!
I seem to be needing these days, more and more often, lately!46 weeks ago
Andrea: In high school my sister and I used to convince my dad to pick us up early and take us to lunch. Those were good times Leaving school/work early is just a tiny bit sweeter than having the day off. I think it’s all the jealous looks you get while prancing out the door. Mwahaha46 weeks ago
Mel: Mmm mental health are a cheeky luxuary - to hide away at home from the rest of the world… I like others like to clean the house and prepare dinner. I also like to walk the dog down to the beach…..46 weeks ago
Evon T.: My mental health days are much like yours, Sarah. I shower, dress in pajamas or a nightshirt and watch LMN, Hallmark channel, DIY etc. I pull out my cross stich magaines and dream about the project/s that I intend to start next (notice I used “intend”). Now that I’ve recently purchased my first home, I’m more inclined to want to sit home and enjoy it… boxes and all. You’re so blessed to be able to work from home. Loves ya.46 weeks ago
Avril Lobo: Im so glad I stumbled upon your post! I too work out of home, and when all the deadlines for the day have been wrapped up, I have to jump headlong into the household chores. On many days I love my life - I love being able to work and make lunch or sneak in an occasional nap and of course stay on top of all that social networking :). But on some days, routine weighs down. And when it does, I find myself taking a loooong nap, washing a pile of dishes (which is prolly the one chore i find deeply cathartic), crafting (unexpected for me), and BAKING! When Im in the mood to bake, I know my soul is calling out for rest. And when all else fails I listen to all my favourite Gospel music (non-stop) while reading my favourite blogs!
46 weeks ago
geek+nerd: Depends…sometimes I need a day to be a la cocoon. Totally. However, sometimes I’m in need of a mental health day because I’m so busy at work that my house gets out of control. And when my house is totally out of control (not just the usual messy) I go mental. Hence, mental health day, which I’ll spend catching up on chores for as long as I can…then I’ll curl up in a cocoon to congratulate myself, HA!46 weeks ago
Karen: A good movie, pajamas and a hot cup of tea work for me! Pride and Prejudice is a favorite and one of the first movies I reach for when I need to catch a little me time.46 weeks ago
Bethany: Mental Health day coming up for me after midterms. Thank God they cancel school for OU vs. Texas. By this 3pm, I will have had 3 exams and a quiz in two days, so I need this. I’ll probably watch Memoirs of a Geisha, take a bubble bath with the Lollia bubble bath my sister gave to me as a housewarming gift, give myself a facial, a manicure, pedicure, hair treatment, and drink hot tea. I intend to pamper myself like a Roman empress, simply because I deserve it. After that, I’m going to have a date with my boyfriend.46 weeks ago
Dana: Sleeping until I wake up, getting up to take care of personal essentials, going back to bed. Then watching a movie, usually an old one. Staying in my PJ’s all day, no makeup and no shower until I get ready. Eating and drinking coffee or other hot beverages at leisure. Sometimes not leaving the house for an entire day, depending on how I feel. Not talking to anyone on cellphone or computer. Other days it is different… I get up and get dressed and clean and work in the house all day, cook (which I find is one of the best releases), go for a walk, spend some times outdoors, spend time with those I love, or with a pet, do something nice for somone else. I love to read too. Sometimes just a break in your normal routine can do wonders. Helps one to center, find balance in this crazy hectic world.46 weeks ago
alliemarien: today i took a day off…so to say. i’m still going to work and school, but i didn’t feel like exercising. so instead i’m sitting in my sweatpants watching regis and kelly…and it feels great.46 weeks ago
Wendy Bussell: When the kids are gone overnight! The music I like gets loud, the lights are on everywhere and everything gets cleaned. With no body in the way I get a whole lot more done than if they were home. Then the movies! Pretty in Pink! Love Actually! and the embroidery! and the coffee! and then the lights dim and I get a really good night sleep, knowing my little chicks are safe in another nest for the night. These are definatly needed days. Who ever says different is not from this world.46 weeks ago
syd: What a great set of parents!! Yes–mental health days are a great way to bond with your teenager. I did that with my daughter, and she loved it. It’s a good idea for adults as well, as hectic as our lives are these days. I’ve enjoyed reading these comments…thank you!46 weeks ago
darcyart: HAH i used to work at a non-profit and it was perfectly normal to call in sick by saying “I’m taking a mental health day.” Totally acceptable. I kind of miss those days.46 weeks ago
Erin: I really liked this post. Especially, “I felt relaxed, happy, and sorry that — for even a moment — I had given in to that dark, existential undertow.” That expresses exactly how I feel after exercising; my brightened outlook makes me wonder what was making me so down in the dumps.46 weeks ago
peggyann: hmmm, mental health day. hmmmm I am taking a mental health year. maybe two. or three. After working about 25 yrs in the family businesses, and the last 15 years, about 12-14/7. I almost had the proverbial mental health collapse. I saw it coming, learned to slow down and learned how to delegate. Now, many days I just love to stay at home, work from home in my flannel bottoms and sweatshirt. Empty nest helps too! LOL.
ps. not sure how I found your blog, but glad I did.46 weeks ago
pattyskypants: Ha! I’m having one NOW! Next time, try “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” with Jane Russell and MM. PERFECTION! xxoo Patty45 weeks ago
Talia: My Mom allowed me to take mental health days in high school as well. They were the best!! I have spent a mental health day shopping with my sister and also cleaning my house. While the cleaning doesn’t sound relaxing to most, it is instant gratification to me and there is nothing better than a clean house!45 weeks ago
Su-Lin: That’s actually a brilliant idea. I’ve been worked to the bone recently and really could use a personal day.42 weeks ago
Lucy in the Sky: wow, everyone here has already said it so well. for me mental health days are all about the cleaning, cooking, errand-running, etc. If I’m really on top of it I make a list so I can cross everything off as I do it, which feels even better than just getting it done.
there are three things I have to have: popcorn (made on the stove) wine (red always) and a movie, preferably something light that I’ve seen a million times–Mean Girls is a favorite. Being alone and having a quiet environment is absolutely essential to me–not all the time, but still necessary in small doses, like vitamins or something.42 weeks ago
Anna Watson: What a great post! Even when things are so hectic you feel like you have no time to even breathe, forcing yourself to take a day off is sometimes exactly what you need to jump back into the game. We just posted an article on Live Solid that provides some useful information for taking it slow:
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=161594986967
Thanks for the post and have a great day!!!42 weeks ago