Be It Ever So Humble
I’m coming off a weekend so magical, that here it is Wednesday and I’m still glowing from its effects. There was a surprise visit from my sister and a luncheon attended by some of the dearest, funniest, smartest women in my life. There was a long dining room table anchored by arrangements of hydrangeas, and a feeling of happiness in me so all-consuming, it started in my gut and bubbled up as an unshakable smile.
I’m a sucker for rituals and traditions, but planning a wedding, until now, has been like planning a big, expensive party. There are moments, of course, when the grave importance of what we are about to enter into resonates in me with a profound gratitude. Most of the time, unfortunately, the daily management of details wins out over the mystery of love forevermore. My Saturday, filled as it was with great women and good food, tied me back not only to the solemn occasion of a marriage, but to a tradition of women. It seems all too rare for women to get together to celebrate passing through life as such. For all the fun of the day, it also felt important–important to honor the sweet and unique experience of being born female, but also to call to center stage a web of support to mark the passing of momentous life events, as well as the more mundane ups and downs of simply being alive.
It was with this feeling in mind, after the party had ended, the guests had gone home, the chairs had been stacked, the leftovers packed into ziploc bags, that I said goodbye to my sister on her way to catch a flight, hugged my mom, and came back home to prepare dinner for a friend. And don’t let “prepare” throw you: I defrosted some soup, tossed a plain salad, sliced some bread, splurged on a little wedge of soft, mild cheese. Her arrival eased the end of a special weekend, but also carried its meaning into the everyday; a web of female support can manifest itself in something as humble as leftover soup with a friend. A bouquet of hydrangeas, plucked from the party and carried home wiltingly on the bus, might add a special touch. But special occasions are ours for the making, even on a Tuesday night.
Misty: Congratulations on enjoying such a special weekend. That’s the biggest thing I miss about my friends and I being spread all over the map - how right it feels to just be in each other’s company.47 weeks ago
academicsocialite: My bridesmaids hosted a similar lunch for me with the important women in my life the day before our wedding. Having my mother, my grandmother, my sister, my future mother in law, and no end of aunts, cousins, and friends all together was really wonderful and gratifying. I felt so deeply loved and also part of a tradition of women on both sides. I feel all glowy just thinking of it now. I’m so glad you are being sent off into your new life with the same sentiment and support.47 weeks ago
Kelly: Oh, thank you for this.
I struggle with “wedding planning” really meaning “reception planning,” which really means “party planning,” too. All I want to do is be married to the guy! I’ve been ambivalent about a shower, but this helps me to put it in perspective. Yours sounds completely lovely; I’m so glad that you got such a special time with the ones you love.47 weeks ago
Lisa (dinner party): Darling, I would eat leftovers with you every night of the week! Well, maybe not every night…I think Dan would get a little jealous. Still, though, you’re wonderful company and set the prettiest table. Thanks for hosting.47 weeks ago
Suzy: Beautifully experienced and beautifully said! And how wonderful that you are able to revel in it NOW, during all the pre-wedding busy-ness, rather than later when you are left cradling wistful memories.47 weeks ago
corey d: beautifully written, thoughtful and so true. there is nothing better than spending time with good friends - especially sisters, as they often help us discover (or uncover) the true beauty in things otherwise overlooked
(and i love your yellow Laguiole couteaux!)47 weeks ago
Lesley: Isn’t girl time amazing? The best part, I think, is that the feeling only grows more profound as you get older, when you realize that you don’t even necessarily have to know a woman well to truly enjoy her company. I had maybe eight girlfriends over for lunch several months ago, most of whom I’m still getting to know. But I just remember looking at everyone and thinking: Wow. How did we all end up here? There’s just a certain type of energy when smart, vivacious women all get together in the same room. It just makes you happy to be alive.
A friend of mine married her Indian husband about a year ago, and she told me about the neatest tradition: Once a year, all the married women in his family get together for a “women only” weekend, and they cook, and talk, and basically just laze around the house. Doesn’t that sound awesome?47 weeks ago
Roxanne: Gosh golly do I miss girl time. Life has taken all my best ladies to very different places, resulting in none of us being able to get together. My own wedding in August was such a wonderful time since we all were able to gather in our hometown. It was like we had never left
47 weeks ago
Gail: Sarah -
What a lovely way to memorialize such a special event. I continue to be in awe of your magical way with words. Hugs to you, sweet and beautiful bride!47 weeks ago
Ruth @ GraceLaced: Love this post. I strangely feel like I’m the lucky one for having read this, Sarah! That I get it, which makes me special. Like in As Good As It Gets.
46 weeks ago