Home Sweet Home
illustration from The Little House
When a film crew shows up at your apartment door at 9AM, you’d be smart to throw on some pants and get out of there. And if, three days later, they are still bumping into walls and making your house smell like man sweat, you will be made more sure of how those little rooms — filled with sunshine and unfinished sewing projects and all your dirty clothes — are the dearest place on earth to you.
Some of us have always been nesters, and there is something quaintly embarrassing about being a 20-something homebody. But there you have it: some of us just love turning the key in the lock, taking off our shoes and folding our legs underneath us on our own couch; inviting a friend to luxuriate on our downy bed; shaking up cocktails that can be sipped in a reclining position.
Love of home is what initially drew me to Lisa. I loved that in a city of going out, Lisa liked to stay in. And not only that, she had a blog devoted to having others cozy up on her couch and eat cake with her. So when Lisa invited me over for dinner on a hot summer night, I couldn’t stop looking around her apartment, scanning the book shelf, admiring the way she combined textiles, and had so much grown-up furniture. Her house was a home, complete with creaky wooden floors, exposed brick, stacks of cookbooks in the kitchen, and perfume on the dressing table. I immediately felt cozy within the walls of her space, ready to sit down and let the floodgates of our new friendship open.
The recession has made homebodies even out of those who aren’t naturally so. And while there is something sexy about going out — the posing, the perching, the performance — being at home is intimate, inviting people into your home even more so. And sometimes, you get to an age where you realize that real intimacy is possibly the sexiest prospect of all.
Would you rather stay in your home sweet home, be it ever so humble, than go out? Have you found yourself staying in more now that money is tighter or are you a natural homebody? And how do you make your space the best seat in town?
Jessica: Ah, I loved ‘The Little House’ as a kid, yet had totally forgotten about it! Thank you for bringing back a lovely memory.1 year ago
Alicia Kachmar: I love both going out and stay home–I see the “fun” in both. Eating a good meal at a new restaurant can be very satisfying, but making a good meal yourself? Priceless! I’ve always been budget-conscious (since I work in not-well-paying fields) and making a home out of an apartment is always on my mind.1 year ago
Jessica, I loved The Little House, too, and just looking at the illustrations made me feel so sweet.
Alicia, I’m with you — I like both, but think I’m a homebody at heart. Which makes me think maybe I do have what it takes to live in the country someday. I’ll probably go back on this statement tomorrow though.
1 year ago
Kristina: Yes, hands-down, natural homebody. Thank you for outing me. It’s important for all of us to feel that it’s okay.
1 year ago
Betsy: I have always been a homebody! Whereas I love to travel, I love to come home even more; the smells, my pets and plants, my own commode, and most of all my own bed!1 year ago
Erin: In my -ahem- younger days, I loved going out several times a week. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Now I can’t imagine going out that much and liking it. Well, okay. Maybe if someone gave me carte blanche to get some swanky clothes and go to some swanky restaurant, yeah. I admit that would be great. But, I’m a bit over-familiar with most of the dining spots in my vicinity. Staying home is so much more comfortable, AND better tasting!. (my husband is a great cook). Staying home gets my vote.1 year ago
Nikki: 100% homebody. I’ve been forcing myself to get out more and travel. While that’s been a great adventure, it also makes coming home more sweet than ever.1 year ago
Kristina in Detroit: Oh my God I loved this post! I’ve always loved coming home and kicking my feet up after a long day with the prospect of a hot cup of tea, a shortbread cookie, and a good movie ahead of me. And I’m only 22!
Sometimes I get down on myself for not wanting to stay out all night at my age because that’s what I “should” be doing, but when it comes to making plans, more often than not I would rather whip up some tasty treats and hunker down with a friend or two (or five once I leave my parents’ nest!) for some laughs.
Thanks for the go-ahead to keep being me!1 year ago
Sara Rose: I’m a total homebody. I can only handle so much of going out and going places. I even take classes at home! It just gets so old to have to put on “the face” and get out there to get things done. I’d pretty much rather be on my porch, in my bed, or on my couch anyday. I do enjoy being spontaneous but only in spurts.
How do we make a house a home? We make do with what we have, try to find ways to afford making our house feel and look comfortable, and always have plenty of books, movies, and lots of good food and goodies around.1 year ago
Lisa (dinner party): Aw, thanks Sarah. I am blushing.
It’s fun to go out, but you said it best: real intimacy is possibly the sexiest prospect of all. Most of the time I try to avoid having to scream over loud music, or waving down a distracted bartender to get a drink, or eating overpriced food at an overexposed restaurant. Like lots of other commenters, I just enjoy being at home, having the people and things and food I love right at hand.1 year ago
Julia (Color Me Green): I like going out but I’m really excited to make my new apartment feel like a real home, especially after the craziness of my current situation, to make it a comfortable place so we actually WANT to kick back with cocktails in the yard instead of going out to a bar yet again.1 year ago
Trude: I’m a total homebody too! Of course there are times I get the itch to go out, but I’ll easily go a whole week without a “night out”, and I’m 25!
It started out of an abhorrence for waiting in lines just to pay to get into a club/restaurant/bar, and fighting with crowds. Now that there’s DVR and HBO and teh internets, I’ve got lots to keep me entertained when I stay home (and my dog loves me more for it, too). My nights out usually involve going to the movies, something I’ll never get tired of, and maybe dinner out at one of my favorite (quiet) places. Glad my friends and I aren’t the only ones!1 year ago
Amanda: A little of both - but going out can really make me appreciate staying in! … does that make sense? Even though its really fun to go out, I love to cozy up at home and cook! and eat! and bake interesting things.1 year ago
The Single Gal: I’m so jealous - if I lived close by I would kill for an invite to Lisa’s!
I, too, love being at home and inviting friends over for a good meal at my table… heaven. Though I’m surprised at how many of my single gal pals are intimidated by having people over. It’s my mission in life to show them how to entertain at home without breaking a sweat - or the bank!1 year ago
Karen Chaffee: I am a homebody at the heart of it all who occasionally likes going out. I’ve been that way since I was a very young woman. Nothing feels so good as to make a space into a home that welcomes you, family, and friends.
Karen1 year ago
love,gidget: the little house is so cute!1 year ago
Christine S.: Even though the space we have right now isn’t all that homey as of yet, I’d say I’m a homebody at heart. Economy has something to do with it; although, I don’t think the ability to have things makes one any less than a homebody. Yeah, I like to travel and eat out once in awhile; however, I much rather be at home surrounded by the mounds of books, movies, good food I’m fortunate to have.
Does liking to do local things within the community count as being a homebody? I think it does - taking walks, going to the library, local swimming hole….all evoke “home” and right now I’m lovin’ it!1 year ago
Teri: “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.”1 year ago
Jenny: I’ve found a good way to stay at home and avoid the guilt of feeling antisocial. Just live with an insane amount of housemates (in my case 4. And I’m 29). You can all help each other feel like watching episode after episode of Law and Order on a Friday night is alright!1 year ago
Cassandra: #1 Homebody and I love it! Being able to order almost anything on the internet, movies on cable, a well stocked pantry, and lots of good friends nearby, I usually vote for staying home. Great topic. Wow, lots of responses.1 year ago
Carmen: I think I signed that book out of the library 100 times. Thanks for the flashback!1 year ago
Lesley: Funny — I was just thinking about “The Little House” a few days ago, and about how I needed to buy it and keep it on my bookshelf. It’s amazing how one picture can convey a sense of coziness that stays with you for decades. On being a homebody: I’m more than I used to be, although I still adore a glass of wine (or a dry cocktail) in a dimly lit bar at night.1 year ago
Steffie: Jenny’s got it right, lots of housemates! Mine are all men, homebodies and don’t do housework. Playing housepixie means entertaining nightly, and when I feel too bad to cook, they’re always willing to order out. Its a perfect solution.1 year ago
natalia: I love being at home! Tea is flowing like a river, and we always cook for our guests, play instruments, and just relax. Going out is simply not as good.1 year ago
Kate: i love how a smaller pockets-scenario makes us see how it makes better sense to be thoughtful than just jump on the convenience wagon.1 year ago
rachael (speirs art): Be it ever so humble….
I am the queen of the hostessing and home-body nester of my friends. I love my decor magazines and I pride myself on a well decorated apartment..I am visual, its in my genes.
For me, nothing is better than the embence of a well decorated room that makes you feel proud and would showcase itself in house and home magazine any day. I love to kick back with a bottle of wine, a dear friend and a platter of antipasti and talk about our lives.
And darn it, we all have those moments that no one could possibly understand, and sharing would spoil the feeling. Such as soaking in the tub, listening to obscenely soothing music with a candle and reading something like ‘women who run with the wolves’
so enjoyable.1 year ago
.amanda.: you have so eloquently put into words what I have turned into this past year! I am most definitely not your typical 24 year old. I believe you have made being a “homebody” sound perfectly romantic. I can not wait to share this with my “homebody” husband.
xo1 year ago
.amanda.: p.s. I loved that book as a child. It would always tear my heart out when the house was so built up in the city. It also made me sad about the kids moving away…1 year ago
Ruth @ GraceLaced: Well-said, Sarah! 11 year marriage, and 4 kids later, “sexy” does mean intimacy rather than self-promotion. Home is where it’s at now…even if at one time, the heart was prone to wander…1 year ago
sebastian: apologies on behalf of the film crew. xxoo1 year ago