Flowers that Never Fade
When Pink of Perfection was down yesterday (a wave of spam hit our host in Montana — maybe I should do a spam recipe in commemoration?), I felt like a little kid who gets lost in a department store and can’t find her mother. Only instead of throwing a fit and crying to a security guard, the adult in me just threw up her hands and said, “what can you do?” That’s mercury in retrograde for you. But heavens, I am ever glad to be back up and running.
Today, if you don’t mind terribly, I’m going to tell you about finding my wedding dress. And lest you worry, I promise this will not become a wedding blog. But it was a big day, and one, moreover, that even involved a craft.
When I joined my sister in the bowels of Port Authority to meet our mom on the arriving bus, she was holding two bouquets of tissue paper flowers — one in hot pink, and one in pale turquoise. If there’s one thing my sister knows it’s how to mark an occasion. And so, with my arm hooked through my mom’s, I walked through Port Authority, and all through the garment district of Manhattan, smiling so much my face would ache at day’s end, proudly clutching the bright, full, tissue paper flowers that still sit on my dining room table a month later.
But this moment was a bit of an aberration in the wedding planning process. I had already picked out a cake, knew what the dinner menu would be, and for some reason — perhaps my deep desire to not let the wedding overshadow the importance of the event, the marriage — the search for the dress seemed to be just another slightly onerous task on the never-ending list of wedding to-do’s. Mostly, I was looking forward to spending the day with my mom and sister and having a fancy French lunch afterwards. And frankly, in terms of the actual dress shopping my expectations were low.
When we arrived at the discount wedding warehouse, my mom and sister finished their coffees in the front while I searched through the open racks and dragged surprisingly heavy dresses wrapped in clear plastic garment bags around the floor. In the dressing room finally, my mom sat on a chair, my sister sat on the floor, and we were joined by a very kind older woman named Olga. She helped pour the dresses over my head, showed me how to shoot my arms up and dive into the pools of tulle and lace. I tried on four dresses. And then I tried on the dress.
For a girl who wasn’t expecting to emerge triumphant, who thinks the whole wedding biz is a bit of a racket and mostly, more than anything, just wants to tie the knot with her guy and dance to 80’s music with her friends, I was surprised just how momentous finding the dress was. I hugged Olga repeatedly. My sister says I got tears in my eyes. But I don’t think I was crying over the lace gown, lovely as it is. I was crying over my luck. Just like finding the right person, the one who can make trips to Paris and the neighborhood drinking hole equally magaical — after hunting, squeezing into things that don’t really fit, and wondering if you can live with beading when you really aren’t terrifically fond of it, you find the dress and the person who is just right. Well, in moments like that, you can’t help but weep over how lucky you are, and how grateful.
And when you go up to stand on the pedestal outside the dressing room and they fan out the train behind you, you are especially thankful that your sister had the foresight and DIY savvy to craft you a bouquet of tissue paper flowers for you to hold. It really completes the picture.
DIY Tissue Paper Flowers
adapted from Country Living
For each flower, cut six 7-inch squares from the tissue paper. Stack and fold them accordion-style six times, forming a one-by seven-inch rectangle. Snip off the corners of the rectangle with scissors.
Tightly twist a wire floral stem around the center of the rectangle.
Fan out the paper, then pull apart each layer, creating the blossom.
Ruth @ GraceLaced: Sara, this is a memory that will last you a lifetime. I’m so happy for you, and for what seems to be a very enjoyable process in wedding planning. Blessins to you…and I do hope to hear more of your wedding.1 year ago
Thanks, Ruth. Yes, I will definitely always remember that day.
1 year ago
Amy C: I just got choked up thinking about my own “dress moment” - after thirteen try-ons, walking out and having both my mom and sister burst into tears simultaneously! What a beautiful moment.
I have a bowl of origami flowers that I made sitting next to my bed - they don’t die, and they look really mod. I love the idea of paper flowers!1 year ago
Betsy: I am always amazed at the large scope of happiness found in discount wedding dress stores. Congratulations! And I wouldn’t mind in the least hearing about your plans! Now go write some Haiku! (A very good excercise in inspiration)1 year ago
Erin: Thank you, thank you, thank you for expressing and embodying this phrase - “my deep desire to not let the wedding overshadow the importance of the event, the marriage”.
Beautiful post.
1 year ago
Vanessa: I went wedding dress shopping for the first time this month but came home empty handed. I have to admit the idea of going back and shoving myself into more dresses doesn’t appeal to me much right now… Maybe I need a tissue paper bouquet
1 year ago
Kristina: Congratulations on finding the dress. Your post made me reminiscent, and also deeply glad that “diving” into huge billows of itchy tulle and lace is an experience well behind me.1 year ago
Ashley: just went wedding dress shopping with my dear friend. the moment she tried on “the dress”, it was magic. she was crying and dancing and shrieking.
such a happy memory. so glad your mom and sis got to share it with you.
p.s. love these flowers
1 year ago
Amy C, What a fantastic idea to make them with origami paper! You’re a genius. Can’t wait to try myself.
Betsy, I settled for reading in the community garden next to their little fountain with an iced coffee and it did just the trick.
Erin, Hell yeah! The wedding is one too expensive overblown event but the marriage is 4-EVA.
Vanessa, Yeah, it can be frustrating when everything isn’t going right and you can’t find what you want. I recommend going somewhere with a really huge selection and nice old Eastern European salesladies.
Kristina, They are pretty unwieldy aren’t they?
Ashley, That sounds lovely. It’s such a nice moment between women — moms, sisters, or friends.1 year ago
Sara Rose: Paper flowers ROCK. When I lived in AZ and we’d travel over the border to Nogales, I’d [persuade my parents to buy me hundreds of the cool mexican paper flowers (because they cost like a dime) and I decorated my whole room with them. I hung them from my ceiling, my windows, my bed, every where. IT ROCKED.1 year ago
pattyskypants: Reminds me of my first wedding experience. We went to the fashion district to fetch the fabric for the dress my mother and I designed and which was handmade and fitted just for me. It was glorious and probably the only happy collaboration for my mother and I. Truly, the partnership you forge with your beloved is way more important than the acoutrements!! Remember that, from day one. Let him love you and don’t throw “stuff” in his way. And, please, love him too and be kind and courteous!1 year ago
academicsocialite: Oh - that brought back such great memories of my own moment. Funny how weddings stories beget other wedding stories. I guess because it is one of the few rites of passage we have in modern western culture - in spite of the commercials aspects. I was dreading shopping for the thing - Kleinfelds just terrified me. When visiting the family in my hometown, my mom dragged me to a high-end mall to “just look” - I was bloated and whiney, I’m afraid to admit. I slipped an ivory satin gown over my head and said, “oh, this is nice”. And then the saleswoman released the train from its bustle and I just melted. THE dress. Not to mention it was 50% off and I didn’t need to have it altered. It was like a dream.
I’m so glad you found IT. Enjoy every minute and how it makes you feel. I’ve been married 6 months and couldn’t be happier.1 year ago
Michele, The Paris House Deisgns: I forgot to mention that I just purchased the peacock dip tray you featured on your blog, it is so cute , I can’t wait to put something delicious in it.
RE. wedding gown shopping, I was married 15 years ago and my mother , grandmother and grandfather came with me. It was such a wonderful day, it always brings tears to my eyes when I think of it. My grandparents have passed away and I miss them so much, we all did everything together and I had such great times growing up in upstate new york farm country!!1 year ago
Yay, Michele! I’m so glad a POP reader bought that pretty thing!1 year ago
Karen: I stumbled upon your blog a few weeks ago. I am really enjoying it! Congratulations! It sounds like you had a lovely day dress shopping. Enjoy the planning. I totally understand your not wanting the wedding to overshadow the marriage. That is how I felt 21+ years ago. My mom was happy to plan and luckily we agreed on most of the details. We had a magical wedding celebration with our family and friends, but more importantly it was the beginning of our wonderful marriage.1 year ago
love,gidget: i love wedding gowns! It is so sweet and amazing that your sister crafted the flowers for your wedding dress hunt. I am pretty sure that if i ever get married my brother will be fairly useless in the wedding dress selection process
1 year ago
Avril: Hey Sarah! Congratulations on finding ‘the’ dress! I hope you have many more beautiful memories and adventures on the way to your wedding day. And I hope you have a beautiful and blessed married life
Looking forward to more of your wedding posts! Cheers, A1 year ago
shauna: My goodness your writing is so beautiful… a tiny wee tear threatening to plop on the keyboard, hehe. Well done on finding your frock! I know you said it won’t become a wedding blog but duuuuuuuude… if a few more wedding posts happened to appear, we’d be over ‘em like a rash… the way you turn these moments to gold… lovely
1 year ago
shannon: i’m getting married in two weeks and while i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my perfect match, the wedding planning and preparation has been a nightmare of parental disagreements and endless arguments over the most minute, insignificant details. unfortunately, this has caused me to sort of dread the wedding, which will be so stressful and nothing like the wedding we wanted, thanks to two sets of overbearing parents. while reading this made me sad that i had no wonderful dress moment (i ordered mine online, and while it’s gorgeous, it didn’t fit and was discontinued the day after i ordered it so i couldn’t get a replacement. i’ve spent the past two months counting every calorie i put in my mouth so i’d be able to zip it and now i’ve lost too much weight and the dress is too big. oy.) it makes me very happy that many people do have a pleasant, beautiful time planning what should be one of the best days of their lives. i guess i’m just writing this to say that i’m glad you’re cherishing these moments because i don’t think my wedding planning experience is particularly unique; most people don’t have sisters bearing paper flowers to make these moments special. you are blessed.1 year ago
Shandell's: I am glade that mercury in retrograde will be ending soon. Congrats for finding the perfect dress.1 year ago
Shannon, I totally sympathize with you. Yes, there are lots of disagreements about stupid meaningless details. But I guess what I would say to you is just what a good friend said to me — try to look beyond the color schemes and the guest book and focus on the big picture. You found the love of your life! You are so lucky! And you’re about to pledge your life to each other. The planning part totally sucks — for the most part, I hate it. But just keep your eye on the big picture. Best of luck to you! (And take the dress into a tailor and see if they can bring it in to fit you.)1 year ago
Kate: Sarah, I had tears in my eyes just reading this! Thank you for sharing your joy
1 year ago
Lisa (dinner party): Oh, goosebumps. Planning a wedding can be so exhausting and stressful but then you have a perfect moment like that…sigh. Lovely post, as always!1 year ago
sebastian: I can’t wait to see it!! xxxooo
1 year ago
Renata N: There really are too many little details in planning a wedding… and when the day comes, all that will really matter are those great times in which you loved ones will be gathered to celebrate and throw you way all these good vibes, wishing you and your sweetheart a lifetime of happiness!
Lovely post! Congratulations on finding the dress!1 year ago
Erica: Such a lovely story! Thank you for sharing and congratulations on finding THE dress. I think I’m going to go make some paper flowers with my daughter, right now.1 year ago
Karen: I tried on just two dresses before I found “the one”…I guess the third time is a charm? And you know, it wasn’t like anything I thought I’d like, but still, it was just right
Thanks for the paper flower tutorial…I’ve always wanted to make those!1 year ago
Passionista: I think this is one of the sweetest posts, I’ve ever read.1 year ago
Diane: these are SO CUTE! love them!1 year ago