A Simple Fall Dinner Party
Ever since I attended a party at my sister's a couple weeks ago, I've been trying to figure out what I want to tell you about it, exactly, and how what I learned relates to this little holiday coming up in a few days which you might have heard of called Thanksgiving, a holiday that at this very moment may well be causing a number of us a fair bit of stress.
And so I think the first thing that must be shared is this: as we were sitting around my sister's airy living room on Saturday morning deciding what to make, her husband (hi David!) breezed in and announced from the doorway, "Just keep it simple. No one comes for the food, anyway."No one comes for the food?! Is completely insane?
Anyone who loves to cook and invite people over to share a meal places great care and forethought into the planning of a menu, and yet here is my brother-in-law unilaterally declaring that it doesn't even matter? What does he know?Turns out, he knows, and when I stopped feeling indignant, I knew the very same thing, of course. Think of the very best dinner party you've ever been to. The food is fun, and it certainly helps if it's good, but an atmosphere of good talk and revelry is worth infinitely more than a perfectly tuned and calibrated succession of courses.
Yet despite the fact this had been demonstrated to me in spades just a couple weeks before at Katy's delightful dinner party, I lost my cool this weekend thinking about the upcoming holiday. During an otherwise perfectly relaxing brunch of chicken chilaquiles and café con leche, I was in a panic about how there must be mashed potatoes and there must be a pumpkin pie and there must be a perfect turkey, and if there's not, there will be mutiny! And then the brilliant fellow sitting across from me reminded me of the very thing I had learned and too-quickly forgotten: people come to be together, to drink too much champagne, to have an impromptu game of football, and to get fierce during Trivial Pursuit. If there's no turkey, no one cares.
I know all to well that when the kitchen is getting hot from the oven being on for seven hours and there are people buzzing around asking what they can do to help and you want to say -- get out of my hair! -- that it can be hard to remember that the food doesn't matter. But listen: the gravy doesn't matter, the stuffing doesn't matter. You could probably order kung pao chicken and pork dumplings if things really got out of control and people would still happily play football and Trivial Pursuit. I promise. And if they freak out, well, they're assholes.And this is what I learned at my sister's simple fall dinner party: buy paté and olives for snacking. Serve a festive cocktail when people arrive. Dessert can be butter cookies, fudge, grapes, and blue cheese, that you've assembled on a pretty tray beforehand right next to everything you need for coffee. Roast two beautiful chickens, resolve to have fun, and remember the food doesn't matter, whether it's a Saturday night dinner party, or a Thursday Thanksgiving.
Brandy Bacon Chickenfrom Nigella Express
Serves 4
1 (2 1/2 to 3-pound) chicken
2 strips bacon
1/4 cup brandy
Heat oven to 425 degrees F.
In a small frying pan, cook the bacon over medium heat until it's crisp and the pan full of gorgeous bacony fat, about 4 minutes. Take the pan off the heat, the bacon out of the pan and straight into the cavity of the chicken, sitting the chicken breast side up in a roasting pan as you do so. Pour the brandy into the still hot frying pan and let bubble for a minute. Pour the brandy mixture over the chicken. Place the roasting pan into the hot oven and roast for 45 minutes, making sure juices run clear between leg and body. Let rest 10 minutes before carving.
Comments
Wow. You and your sister were gifted with the talent of hosting. That table and set-up looks amazing. And I love the idea of an assorted dessert tray, it really attends to all tastes.
Posted by: DD | November 24, 2008 2:19 PM
thanks, dd, but if you look closely you'll see none of the glassware matches and one person is drinking wine out of a martini glass. we're very loosey-goosey. :)
Posted by: Sarah | November 24, 2008 2:42 PM
This little reminder was just what I needed after spending the better part of the afternoon planning every little detail for my Thursday game plan. Thanks!
Posted by: Kristina | November 24, 2008 5:53 PM
Lovely reminder, Sara. As always, keeping it real, yet keeping it divinely charming. You are so right: at the end of the day, relationships make the meal, not the other way around. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, girl!
Posted by: Ruth | November 24, 2008 9:49 PM
This is a great reminder during this busy entertaining season! The pictures are so warm and beautiful and I love your coffee service - is it an antique set?
Posted by: Nancy | November 24, 2008 10:43 PM
Wow, that chicken recipe looks like it's melt in your mouth awesome!
I hear you on the stress thing, but it's not stress about MY holiday. Working at a bakery around Thanksgiving...kinda SUCKS! I boxed over two hundred pies just yesterday!
Posted by: geek+nerd | November 25, 2008 8:19 AM
Nancy, that's my sister's china. I can't remember the name but I think it's Spode.
geek + nerd, oh gosh, i bet people are total jerks to you, too. just remember that they have to go on living their small, mean little lives. :)
Posted by: Sarah | November 25, 2008 9:23 AM
Yup, it's all about the fun. Personally, I adore mismatched dishes. I have a friend who actually BRINGS his own wine glass when coming to my place, while I have been known to drink wine from a coffee mug if I must. But don't forget the jigsaw puzzle --a sacred holiday tradition for my crew -- set it up somewhere sturdy & accessable & folks will work on it sporadically. It excites the know-it-alls, prompts conversation, & gives the introvert nerd (me) something comfy to do while chaos rages around me. Thanks for this crucial reminder, Sarah... and please pass those canned Little Smokies down this way, will ya?
Posted by: Suzanne | November 25, 2008 12:31 PM
DD-it's easy to set the table when you have beautiful wedding presents to work with!
p.s. sarah, i love you.
p.p.s. those weird david busts are a joke, not a design motif.
Posted by: katy mccoll | November 25, 2008 12:32 PM
i like that last picture, cause you know it's a good party when you look at the table the next day and think, "how did THAT get there?"
suzanne, that jigsaw puzzle idea is a very good one, i think!
Posted by: Sarah | November 25, 2008 1:00 PM
FYI: A little birdie told me that the name of the pattern is Queen's Bird by Spode.
Posted by: Sarah | November 26, 2008 12:17 PM
I so enjoy reading the chatter. If it were only so easy to live out those stressful times with your attitude, Sarah. The pictures are also beautiful! Let's see, I am about to turn 57 and I have probably given TWO nice dinners in my life! I guess I'd rather grab some sandwiches and beer and hop on a 4-wheeler! Tell thte famil Happy Thanksgiving for me!! Love to you all!
Posted by: Patty | November 26, 2008 5:14 PM
So glad I read this...the table does look lovely, the philosophy of not stressing is a great reminder and of course I LOVE the writing AND the recipe you shared at the end!
As always...thanks!
Posted by: Gail | November 30, 2008 9:11 PM
Patty, It's all about knowing what makes you happy, and if it's 4-wheelers and beer, so be it! :)
Gail, Thank YOU for a great weekend. Love you. XOXO S
Posted by: Sarah | November 30, 2008 9:57 PM
Congrats on your marriage, Katy! And, soon, our Sarah will be tying the nuptial knot, no?
Posted by: Maureen | December 1, 2008 9:18 PM
You are so unbelievably right! People really don't care about the food.
When I was a little girl, my mother made hot dogs for dinner every Christmas (I really loved hot dogs). My grandmother thought this was sacrilege, but my mom told her it was a holiday for her too and she wasn't going to spend it cooking for just us two.
After I got married, I tried to do the traditional thing at first, but quickly reverted back to my mom's thinking. Our Thanksgiving, Christmas & Easter meals have been chosen based on what sounded good -- everything from tuna casserole to corned beef & cabbage to homemade fajitas (this year). Oh, and as for missing the turkey? There has never been a shortage of friends/family/neighbors/coworkers/etc. that had leftovers they couldn't wait to share.
I overheard my oldest son talking to his S.O. on Thanksgiving, asking her what she wanted for Christmas dinner. She said spaghetti. And so the tradition continues...
Posted by: Angela | December 1, 2008 10:32 PM
Angela, I love this story. Making your own traditions is half the fun (we always have Mexican food and margaritas on Christmas eve). Doing something just because you think you "should" is never good motivation, so long live the Christmas hot dogs, I say!
Posted by: sarah
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December 2, 2008 10:25 AM
Soon enough, I hope! :)
Posted by: sarah
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December 2, 2008 10:26 AM
Oh man, you are so right about ALL of this! I love it - and that chicken recipe is eerily similar to one that I use, but minus the bacon and brandy - will have to give that a try next time!
Posted by: Alice Q. Foodie | December 20, 2008 12:28 AM