Welcome, Spring!

I've been burned too many times by sneaky deli tulips. They look as though they're on the cusp of unfurling--and I think to myself: "What great timing, to buy them so young!" And yet, they stay small buds for two days until I bump into them, at which point they dissolve like a mandala sand painting set in front of a fan. Then I have to circle back to the inevitable: What kind of fool confuses a deli that sells Duraflame logs and Arizona Iced Tea for a farm-fresh importer of tulips?

As a result, recently I decided to tiptoe into the big, tacky world of ersatz flowers. And now that I have, part of me wonders, why did I wait so long? I bought pink and white cherry blossoms online and stripped them from the bendy plastic branch they came on. Then I set about hot gluing the little nibs and leaves onto a large fallen branch I nicked from a yard. I think the natural branch is the key to this project's success--i.e. the branch has to hold its own. Three weeks and counting, what I love about it is what people have always loved about fake flowers: Every time I come home, it looks gorgeous--like sculpture I can afford.